Chapter 15

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Chapter 15

Edward

Last night was probably the worst and best night of my life. I found out I had a daughter, I also found out my entire family knew and didn't bother to tell me. I believed Bella when she told me she had tried to contact me, and I also believed Lauren was the reason of the failed contact.

I wasn't going to let my family off easy though. They should have told me. They had been there and known of all her firsts while I knew nothing. I still loved Bella, almost more so now that she had given me a child. I could see where she was coming from but then again I couldn't. She was hurt when Lauren implied that I had moved on, but maybe if she would have just kept trying.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my coffee and started my way out to the barn. Thinking like that wouldn't do any good. I had my daughter here now, I needed to work on that.

I entered the barn and went to the office. I put all my stuff down in there and headed out to grab one of the training horses. As I was coming to the indoor arena, I heard muffled voices. I was confused, because Rose and Alice wouldn't be riding. I opened the big sliding doors and stopped in my tracks.

There, riding in the arena on Sunny was my daughter, and Bella calling out to her. They hadn't noticed me yet, so I just stood there and watched.

"Jayce, lets go again, remember you gotta push him going through the barrels." Bella instructed her. Jayce nodded and pushed Sunny into a run for the first barrel. Sunny moved just as he always had, even being an old guy, but he was careful, like he just knew Jayce was on him. I watched as Jayce finished the pattern and run home. She was a natural talent on the back of a horse.

"Did ya see that momma?" She said excitedly. Bella had barely nodded before Jayce spoke again. "Momma, do you think daddy would be proud of me?" She asked softly.

"Yes baby, I know he is. He loves you just as much as I do."

"Do you think he'll teach me how to rope?" Bella looked up and noticed me standing there. She gave me a big smile before turning back to our daughter.

"Why don't you ask him?" I swung up on my horse and walked over to them. I decided to play dumb and act like I didn't hear their conversation.

"Ask me what?" Jayce turned towards me with a big smile just like Bella and loped Sunny up to me.

"Jayce!" Bella warned.

"Sorry momma." She said quietly to Bella, causing me to chuckle. "Will you teach me how to rope?"

"Sure Twister will help teach you to."

The rest of the day Jayce hung out with me and helped me with the horses. That little grew knew a lot for her age. When it was time for lunch, Bella brought pizza out to the barn for all of us. We sat down and started eating. I was on my third slice when Jayce decided to talk.

"Daddy, do you love momma?" I loved her calling me daddy, but her question almost made me choke on my pizza. I looked across from me to Bella, and my eyes locked on hers. She was still beautiful. She was about to speak up, but I beat her to it.

"Yes, I do. I love you to." I never took my eyes off Bella, letting her see that I was speaking the truth.

"Momma, do you love daddy?"

"Yes, I do." She spoke softly, never breaking the connection we were sharing.

"Good. Now let's move on." Bella finally looked at our daughter with her own questions.

"Move on? What do you mean Jayce?" I looked at our daughter to see her smiling proudly.

"Daddy hurt you. You hurt daddy. You missed each other. You love each other! It's s-i-m-p-l-e! Time to move on." She sang out. Oh how a five year old mind works, I chuckled to myself. Bella raised an eyebrow at me, which caused me to just out right laugh. I heard Jayce giggling before Bella joined in.

"We'll work on it." I said when I finally calmed down. I really did just want to move on. I mean, yeah I could be mad about how the past played out, but really what good would it do me? It would hurt my daughter in the long run. It was just time to move on and get past it.

As the weeks went on, Bella had started working around the barn and helping me with training. We had finally moved past things and had gone out on a couple of dates. Jayce was excited and kept telling us she wants a baby brother. I was all for the idea, but we still had a couple steps to do before we got to that point.

Jayce had started showing and just like Bella, she became well known. She was a natural rider and I knew she would make it far in the horse world. It also helped both her parents were some of the top horse trainers. Jayce also was pretty popular when she started school. Everyone wanted to be her friend. She was just so easy going and fun to be around.

I had started talking to my family again. I still didn't completely forgive them, but I kind of understood what was going through their heads. I just wish they would have thought things through and told me.

Charlie's house was getting kind of cramped for everyone, so I asked Bella to move in with me. She happily agreed, and I couldn't tell out of the three of us who was more excited. I think it might have been Jayce because she could be around the horses at all times. I just laughed at the energy she seemed to be stealing from Alice.

It has been two years since Bella came back into my life with Jayce. Jayce was seven and number one in youth barrel racing. Bella and I gave her everything she wanted, but she also worked for it. She wanted to go to school to be a vet, so she knew she was going to have to work for what she wanted. I couldn't have been anymore proud of her.

Tonight I was going to ask Bella to marry me. I had it all planned out. I was currently standing in the barn waiting for her to join me. Jayce was riding in the arena with Rose and Alice. When I saw Bella walk into the barn, I swear it was an angel. To me Bella would always be beautiful.

"Love, shall we?" I asked her before placing a kiss on her forehead. She nodded and fallowed behind me. I walked into the arena and smiled at Jayce. I watched as she went to the back stall before walking towards us. She was leading a pure black yearling filly. It took me awhile to find her, but she was worth the wait and the price I paid for her. Bella saw her and started walking towards her.

"Aww, aren't you just a pretty little thing." Bella cooed at her. She started rubbing on her head, when she finally came to a stop, I knew she had found the ring. "Edward, what is this?" She asked pulling the ring off the halter. I kneeled down in the dirt in the arena.

"Bella, I know we haven't had an easy time together. But I love you more then anything and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, do me the honor of being my wife?" When she didn't answer, I got a little scared. What if she says no? Then what would I do? "Bella?"

"Yes." She said before lunging at me, causing both of us to fall back onto the ground. I heard the filly nicker and Jayce squeal as we stood up. "Edward, who owns this filly? I might have to talk to them about buying her."

"Well you'd be talking to me. This filly belongs to Cullen Farms."

The rest of the night was with us all riding around in the arena. Alice and Bella were already talking about wedding plans, which sounded like it was going to be soon. It didn't bother me, the sooner the better.

Since the night I proposed, time has seemed to speed up. I slipped on the western suit jacked and looked in the mirror. Today, Bella would be my wife. I couldn't even begin to explain the happiness that was working its way out of me. I walked down to the barn and saw the family was there and were ready to start. Bella walked in the isle in a beautiful white dress.

We did a short ceremony, mainly just exchanging vows. Before I knew it we were announced as husband and wife. I turned towards Bella and gave her a kiss. It was short, but full of love. Our family cheered for us as we turned and faced them.

"I introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." The preacher announced. Jayce ran up to us and gave us each a hug. Jayce grabbed mine and Bella's hand, leading us out of the barn, and towards our future.

Chapter Fourteen- Far Away

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Broken

Edward

When I left Nebraska, my entire world crashed. Leaving Bella was the hardest thing I have ever had to do at this point in my life. After she shared her body with me, I knew I would need her by my side. She was wonderful, and now she kept my heart. When I got home, I threw myself into my job. I filled my barn up with as many horses as I could, and did nothing but work. It was to the point to where I had to hire someone to help me. Lauren. She wasn't the nicest person to be around in high school, but she did know about horses, plus she could work around my schedule.

The first month after I left Nebraska, Bella and I talked on the phone but mainly sent text messages. She was busy getting used to working with top end horses, and she also had a full barn. I wanted her with me, working in my barn along side me, but I knew she needed this. Working for Jami Jensen was a great opportunity and Bella deserved it. After that first month, the text messages came less and less. I knew she was busy, but it almost felt like she was pulling away from me.

Over the last five years, I somehow ended up losing contact with Bella. I still loved her and that caused that much more hurt without being able to talk to her. I kept throwing myself into training and always had a full barn. When my parents decided to move into town, they sold the farm to me. I even added another barn for stalls. Lauren kept working for me, even though she kept trying to get me to take her out.

Cullen Farms became the top training facility in Washington, so I was building up a pretty good savings. Since I lost touch with Bella, I had always hoped that she would come home. I had everything set up for us. I owned the farm, plus the savings, now I just needed her home.

Lauren

When I heard Bella was moving to Nebraska, I couldn't have been happier. Now I would get my chance with Edward. I had fallen in love with Edward in high school, but with the three bitches around him all the time, I was never given the time of day. Yeah, well that's about to fucking change. Edward is mine now and no one else's. When I found out he was hiring for someone to work at his barn, I immediately applied. This was totally my time.

The first couple of weeks working there, I noticed Edward still talked to Bella. Not for long. When Edward was working, he left his cell phone in the barn office, perfect. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was filling out the paperwork for the order we were about to place. You know the usual, grain, treats, vet wrap, and all the crap. When Edward's phone vibrated, it startled me at first, then I saw the name that I wish would just disappear, Bella.

"Hello?" I answered. I didn't hear her, and I was about to say hello again when the bitch finally spoke.

"Uh, is Edward available?"

"No, he's um... busy right now." I giggled, trying my best to imply that he was sexually busy right now. It must have worked, because she quickly hung up. I was finally getting her out of the picture. I quickly went into the call log, and deleted her number, so according to the phone, she never fucking called. I kept doing that every time she called or sent a text message. I could see the change in Edward when she "no longer wanted to talk to him." But he has me now, so he'll get over it. She quite calling and texting shortly after that.

One day in the barn I saw Alice and Rose walk in, guess their back for some break from school, they were getting ready to go for a ride. I ignored them and went into the tack room to straighten it up when I heard them talking.

"So, are we going to go to Nebraska and see Jayce for her fourth birthday?" Alice asked. Who the fuck is Jayce?

"Of course, you think I'm going to miss my nieces birthday?" Niece? It's only her and Edward and Edward don't have a kid.

"I wish Edward could go with us. I know he would love Jayce." Alice almost whispered.

"I know, Jayce is looking more like him everyday. She has Edward's eyes, and did you see her hair the last time? It's starting to look more like Edward's every time I see her." Edward has a fucking daughter! Does he know?

"Yes, I saw. Those two really did have a perfect little girl. To bad Edward gave up his chance at ever meeting his daughter." Now I feel kind of bad, this little girl will never know her father because of me.

"As is life. Let's ride." Alice squealed.

I had lived with that information for a year. It seemed to eat at me everyday. I wanted Edward, but at what price? That day when the girls left, I snuck into Rose's purse and saw a picture of Bella and a little girl on a horse. I'm guessing that little girl is Jayce, and they were right, she is beautiful. Just looking at her you could tell she was Edward's by the emerald green eyes, and the reddish tint in her brown hair. She also had his chin and cheek bones, but you could also see a lot of Bella in her.

I was cleaning out a stall and that picture kept flashing in my mind. She had just turned five if I remember correctly. I wonder if she looks more like Edward or Bella now? At this line of thinking, I was getting pissed at myself. I shouldn't be thinking about those two, I'm the one that's fucking here with Edward, she left him. But you also played a part in it. Your the reason Edward doesn't know he has a daughter. I swear I could feel the fucking steam coming out of my ears, I was so pissed. I didn't hear Edward walk to the stall I was in.

"Lauren when you get a chance, will you take Jack and Star and put them in the pasture?" Just the sound of his voice brought that picture back in my head again.

"You fucking do it." I mumbled. Fuck did I just say that out loud?

"Excuse me?" I looked up at Edward and he looked mad. Good, time to dance asshole. "Last I checked, that is what I paid you for."

"Then maybe you should fucking look for someone else!" I yelled.

"Is there something you want to tell me, because by all fucking means, spit it out." Wow, he's even more hot when he's pissed off.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to. That spot is strictly on your family."

"My family has nothing to do with your job."

"You'd be surprised what I hear in this barn when your family is around." I mumbled.

"What did you hear?"

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."

"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." He stated calming. That just pissed me off even more. He stood and watched me as I walked out of the stall and grabbed my stuff. As I was walking down the ally way, I couldn't help what came out of my mouth next.

"You should ask your family about your daughter!" I yelled. Even though I didn't get Edward, I knew what I did to Bella and now Edward, those two would never be fucking together again. And that alone is almost better then me and Edward together!

Edward

I was just finishing up riding a horse when I remember I hadn't let Jack and Star out. I had retired Jack, and Star was a mare that was brought to me to breed her with Jack. She was due in about two months, so we kept her outside at much as possible on the nice days. Walking up the ally way, I could hear Lauren cleaning out one of the stalls, so I walked over to her.

"Lauren when you get a chance, will you take Jack and Star and put them in the pasture?" I asked. It was still early in the day, so I was in no big hurry.

"You fucking do it." I heard her mumble mumbled.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe she just said that. "Last I checked, that is what I paid you for."

"Then maybe you should fucking look for someone else!"

"Is there something you want to tell me, because by all fucking means, spit it out." I was getting pissed. I was her fucking boss, not her friend.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to. That spot is strictly on your family." What the hell is she talking about?

"My family has nothing to do with your job."

"You'd be surprised what I hear in this barn when your family is around." I heard her mumble again.

"What did you hear?" Maybe they heard from Bella!

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."

"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." I stated. I watched her as she grabbed all her stuff and start to walk out.

She was halfway down the ally way when she yelled out, "You should ask your family about your daughter!" And with that she was gone. My what? I don't have a daughter. I couldn't think about it to long, now I had a lot to do today. I finished riding the horses, cleaning stalls, and feeding. Somehow I found time to call my mom, of course since they were on a vacation somewhere, I got her voice mail. I asked her when she was coming home, that I fired Lauren and was wondering if she was interested in helping out until I found someone new.

By the time I was done with everything, I pulled my ass inside and took a shower. I had just sat down to eat when my cell rang. Looking at it, I didn't recognize the number, but knew it was from out of state.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward?" A lady spoke. Maybe she wanted me to train her horse?

"Yeah, can I ask who is this please?" I asked. Before she answered, a giggle escaped her mouth, and I would know that giggle from anywhere. It's a sound I've waited five years to hear again. "Bella?"

"Yeah Edward, it's me. I'm coming home. We have lots to talk about."

After talking to Bella for a short period, I found out that she was indeed coming home. She wanted to know if I knew of anyplace for her to board her four horses, and I told her she could keep them here. After all, I had about five or six that would be leaving this week. She said she was going to spend the week packing, then be driving out here. I couldn't wait to see her. Shortly after that, my mother called and said they would be home towards the end of the week, but she acted like she knew something from the excitement in her voice.

The following week passed by so slowly. Of course, I was waiting for Bella to come home. I ended up having to wake up earlier in the mornings to do chores that Lauren normally did, then ride, do chores again, go in, shower, eat, and then head to bed. Today was a day that I didn't ride horses, in a way their day off, so I was cleaning up the tack room It was around noon when I heard a truck pull into my driveway. When it got closer, I could see Bella driving, and Rose in the front seat. Oh she has some explaining to fucking do!

When they parked, Bella jumped out along with Rose and then Alice. What the fuck! I would ask them later, right now I was to happy to see Bella. She had gotten older, you could tell by her body, but damn she still looked good. We each grabbed a horse and walked into the barn, me telling them what stalls where open. I was shocked to see that she still had Sunny and Twister though, but the other two horses were good looking. I kept seeing Rose and Alice look at me apologetically, they knew they were going to get a talking to.

"I see you still got Sunny and Twister?" I finally asked.

"Uh, yeah... um I have someone that rides them." She stumbled out. I was looking at her dun that she called Kissee, when I heard a truck door close.

"Momma? Momma where are you?" I heard a little girl call out. I looked at funny kind of funny, because there shouldn't be a little girl around the farm. She had a worried look on her face before she turned and walked to the end of the barn.

"Right here Baby." Baby? Momma? What the hell is going on here? The little girl ran up to Bella, and she bent down and picked her up. She settled her head on Bella's shoulder with her face towards her neck. I walked up behind her, a little she has a daughter. Maybe I'm to late. Yep, my plans just went out the fucking window!

"I didn't know you were a mother Bella?" I stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"Well, um... there's a lot you don't know." She said looking at Rose and Alice. I looked over at them and they looked nervously at Bella, then looked at me apologetically again. I questioned them with my eyes until the little girl spoke again.

"Momma, can I see Twist and Sun?"

"Sure, Rose will you take her please? I need to talk to Edward." I looked back as Rose nodded, and the little girl climbed down, skipping over to Rose and Alice. When she was skipping over to them, I got a good look at her. I felt myself take in an intake of air. She had my eyes, my color hair, then a conversation came back to me.

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."


"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." I stated. I watched her as she grabbed all her stuff and start to walk out.


She was halfway down the ally way when she yelled out, "You should ask your family about your daughter!"

"Bella, how old is she?" I whispered.

"She um, just turned five on May fifth." Bella whispered back just as quietly.

"Who is her father?"I asked. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. In that moment I knew, I knew that my family kept this from me, that Bella kept this from me, and that some how fucking Lauren knew. "It's me, isn't it? I'm her father?" Bella simply nodded. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" I whisper yelled. That last sentence seemed to spark something within her.

"Rose, please take Jayce outside." Jayce? My daughter's name was Jayce. I watched Rose and Alice walk out of the barn with Jayce before Bella turned her attention back to me. Oh shit, I know that look, this isn't going to be pretty. "Edward, do you know what you said to me before you left?" I didn't even have time before she continued. "You said that you loved me, and that you would fucking wait for me. A fucking month after you left, I found out I was pregnant. I called you to tell you, and guess what Edward, you didn't fucking wait. You lied. I tired to contact you to tell you! I called numerous times and a girl always answered! I sent you text messages, fucking begging you to call me, and you never fucking did. I have spent that last five years raising MY daughter because her father was to much of an asshole to return my phone calls. YOU are her father. YOU missed five years of her life, while YOU where playing with some other fucking girl. YOU Edward, all fucking YOU!" By the time she was done, she was crying.

I didn't know what girl she was talking about, I haven't been with anyone since Bella. She had tried to tell me I had a daughter. "Bella, I haven't been with anyone since you. I've been waiting for only you." I stumbled out. When she finally looked at me, my heart broke. She looked so sad and defeated.

"Then who was the fucking woman that answered your phone?" She almost yelled.

"Bella, I don't know. There hasn't been a woman here except those who I train horses for. And then theres..." I stopped. Lauren. Would she have really done something like this? "Lauren." I finished. She looked at me with her mouth dropping open. "I hired Lauren after I came back from Nebraska. My barn got to busy, I needed the help. She would have had access to my phone." All Bella did was nod, before we heard the voices coming back in. Jayce came running up to Bella, before Bella gave her a stern look and she slowed down to a walk.

"Momma, Aunt Rose said my daddy trains roping horses!" She was almost jumping in spot. So she knew who her aunt was. I looked at Rose and she simply nodded as if she could read my mind. "Does this mean my daddy will teach me?"

"I'm sure your daddy would love to teach you. You know Twister?" Bella asked, Jayce nodded. "Your daddy used to own him." Jayce started jumping in place.

"That is sooooooo cool!" She squealed. I heard a truck coming up the drive and looked at my watch. It was probably my mom. When she walked in, she was followed by my dad, Jasper and Emmett. Mom saw Jayce and looked at me with a questioning look. Before I could say anything, Jayce went running to them.

"Nana! Papa!" What the hell? How did she know them? As my dad sat her down, she finally saw the other to. Before Jayce even moved Emmett had picked her up and started spinning her. "Uncle Em! Put me down please." He sat her down before she ran over to Jasper. "Uncle Jazz!" She yelled, launching herself into his arms. I looked around at everyone, and they were all looking at me.

"Can someone please tell me what in the hell is going on here?" I yelled.

"Momma, he said a naughty word. Should I get the soap?" Jayce said causing everyone to chuckle.

"No baby, no soap." Bella said looking sternly at me. I couldn't handle this, I turned and walked out of the barn towards my truck. Once I got in, I started it up and left my driveway, and just drove.

I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

How could it have come down to this?

You've gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Did my family know? Of course they did. Jayce knew who they were. She jumped into their open arms. Will Bella let me step up and be there for her and Jayce now that I know? How could my family do this to me?

Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone

You've gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

I had only gotten to Forks before I decided to turn around. I wouldn't get the answers I wanted, no needed, without talking to them. Pulling into my driveway I saw that everyone was still here. Taking in a deep breath, I parked the truck and went back to the barn. Jayce was at the end of the barn with Rose brushing her horse. I walked up to everyone that was left in a circle, and took another deep breath.

"How long have you guys known?" I asked everybody, but it was Bella who answered.

"They were there shortly after she was born."

I looked up at my family, shocked. "You've known for five years and nobody thought to tell me?"

"Edward, I asked them not to. I was hurting because I love you, and at that time, when that girl answered your phone, I thought you moved on. I was letting you go. That girl made it seem like you were happy, and I didn't want you to hurt like I was. So I asked them not to tell you."

"Why now? Why have you decided to tell me now?" I asked, when I looked back up, I noticed it was only Bella and I there now.

"We were watching the roping events when she said she wanted to learn how to rope. I immediately thought of you, about how much you missed. And I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was bound and determined that even though you had someone else, your daughter still needed to know you."

"Bella, I understand that you tried to tell me about her, but why I don't understand is why you waited so long. I've waited for you for five years. Then you show up with not only my sister, but my daughter? This still hasn't sunk in yet. I hope we can get past this, but it's going to take a lot of hard work." When I heard a voice that wasn't Bella's I was shocked, I hadn't even seen or heard anyone walk up to me.

"Momma, that's my daddy isn't it?" I looked down at my daughter and she looked at me. Bella didn't even answer her, but I could hear her sniffling. "Are you my daddy?"

Chapter Thirteen- Far Away

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Far Away

Bella

Since Edward told me he loved me , everything changed. The last five years have been really hard, but more then worth it. When I think about it, I can still feel Edward's hand on me.

"What I'm saying Bella, is that I love you!"


"Wh-What? How long?" I finally spit out.


"Since you first told me. I loved you enough to let you go, so you can be with Seth." Edward has loved me for awhile. No wonder he acted the way he did when I told him I was engaged. I couldn't handle it any longer, I threw myself at Edward. I pressed my lips to his. He was shocked at first, then he put one hand on my waist and the other in my hair pulling me to him. I had waited so long to do this. His tongue traced my bottom lip begging for entrance.


I gladly gave him and his tongue explored my mouth playing with my tongue. I let out a soft moan and put my hands in Edward's hair. He pushed me back so I was laying on the couch and he was hovering over me. He removed his hand from my hair only to put it on my waist and slowly moved both hands up taking my shirt with him. I leaned up and removed my shirt, removing his shortly after. I took a moment to look at his chiseled abs and that sexy "V" that disappeared into his jeans.


"See something you like Bella?" Edward said between kisses on my neck. He started sucking on my ear lobe causing me to shiver.


"Yes I do Edward, and I plan on seeing a lot more while I'm at it." I said running my hands down his abs. It was amazing to see his muscles tighten under my touch. When I got to his waist line, right above his jeans, I ran my hand back and forth between his hip bones. I knew how I was making him feel just by the erection being pressed into my thigh.


"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" I nodded my head as he picked me up and carried me to my bed. He kissed all over my body as he finished taking my clothes off, as well as his. When he pulled my jeans off, he kissed his way back up my legs, softly touching his lips with mine.


"Edward, I need to tell you something." I said as he kissed along my neck, which he only hummed in response. "I'm a virgin."


"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, just to make sure. I nodded at him and felt him line himself at my opening. His brought his lips back to mine while he mumbled, "Bella, I'm sorry, this is going to hurt." He slowly pushed inside me. I felt the burn from him stretching me and once he was all the way in, he held still waiting for me. Right now I was so glad that since I ride horses, I didn't have a "cherry" to pop. Once I didn't feel the pain any longer, I started to move my hips against him, letting him know it was ok to move.


He started off moving slow. I could feel the hot pressure start to build in my stomach, so I started to move against Edward a little more. He reached down and started to rub circles around my bundle of nerves and I felt wave after wave of pleasure. Edward wasn't far behind as I felt him warm seed shoot into me. He rolled off me then pulled me so my back was resting against his chest, and that's how we fell asleep.


The next morning driving to the airport was hard. I mean, where did this leave us? Once we got there, he grabbed my hand and I walked with him as far as I could before he pulled me into his chest.


"Bella, I love you, and I'll wait for you. But please, take your time, this is a great opportunity for you and I don't want you to miss it."


"I love you to Edward." I said as he placed his lips on mine. I watched him walk away until I couldn't see him any longer. I held it together until I got to my truck, then the silent tears started. Once I got back, I threw myself into work. I had over twenty horses that needed to be worked on barrels and it was the perfect distraction.


Over the last month and a half, the only way I kept in contact with everyone was through text messaging. I didn't have time to do anything else. I would wake up, eat, work my ass off all day wether it was training, cleaning stalls, or working my own horses, eating dinner, shower, bed, and then waking up and doing it all over again.

"Mommy! Mommy! Let's go! Aunt Jami said we are going to be late if we don't leave now!" Jayce yelled at me. O yeah did I mention that, that one night stand with Edward gave me a beautiful little girl? Jayce Marie Swan was born May 5th. She had Edward's emerald green eyes, my brown hair with a reddish tint to it.

This is not how I am suppose to spend my twentieth birthday. I was sitting in the doctors office, scared shitless. I had missed my period and that never happened. So I got a home pregnancy test, and well let's just say that's why I am where I am: The doctors office.


"Well Miss Swan it looks like you are pregnant. Both the urine and blood tests came back positive. Your due date will be around May third. Any questions?" I shook my head no, letting everything soak in. "Alright then, we'll go ahead and get you set up for your next appointment."


After I got done with everything at the doctor's office, I headed back home. When I got there, I told Jami what was going on and she told me to take the rest of the day off. I decided to call Edward and get that part of this over with. I headed into my apartment and grabbed a bottle of water before walking to the couch and pulling my cell phone out of my purse. I dialed Edward's number and waited.


"Hello?" Said a woman's voice. I quickly looked at my phone to make sure I dialed the correct number.


"Uh, is Edward available?"


"No, he's um... busy right now." She giggled out. I couldn't help it, I hung up and cried. So much for waiting for me, asshole! I couldn't believe it, he said he'd wait and then a chick answers his phone, I mean seriously? So does that mean he even meant it when he said he loved me? I called my family and told them the news, they all wished I was married first, but wished me luck and said they'd help me out. Next up, Rose and Alice.


"Hello?" Alice's chipper voice answered.


"Hey Alice, is Rose around you?"


"Yeah, hang on... K, your on speaker phone. What's up?"


"Well there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. I'm pregnant." I said calmly.


"Who's the dad?" They both asked. Well shit, here goes nothing.


"Whose in the room with you?"


"Just us two, why?" Alice asked.


"You can NOT tell anyone this and if you do, I will never talk to either of you again! Got it?"


"Yes!" They both said at the same time.


"Um, hey Aunt Rose."


"What the fuck? Why are you calling me Aunt Rose? I'm not your fucking au.. wait a minute! It's Edward's baby?" She finally caught on.


"Yes, but you can't tell him."


"Bella, you need to tell him. I mean he needs to know."


"No, I called him to tell him and some girl answered the phone. When she said he was busy, she giggled. So he's not ready to be a father." Before we hung up, they both agreed with me and were mad at Edward.


"Alright let's go baby girl."

"Mom, I'm not a baby anymores." Jayce whined.

"You'll always be my baby." I said leaning down to kiss her on her forehead before walking out the door. Jami already had the horses loaded. Since I retired Sunny at the age of 21 and only used Twister as a back up horse, Jayce had been riding them and was going to show them this year. Soon after I retired them I bought a dun mare, Kissee, that I used for barrel racing. She was already beating Sunny's time, so I knew she would be a good horse. And then I bought Grace, she's only a coming two year old, but she's fast. I plan on using her for roping. For Jayce's first show I dressed her in a blue tank top, blue jeans, brown boots and her black cowboy hat. Once she was ready to enter the arena, I would put on her blue crystal show shirt.

I helped Jayce into the truck since the horses and tack where already loaded and headed to Kearney, a twenty minute drive for the show. Jami was going to meet us there, she said she was meeting someone but wouldn't tell me who. Over the last five years, Jami has become one of my best friends. She was there when I went into labor before my family could make it. Rose and Alice where true to their word, and didn't tell anyone. I allowed her to tell her parents, as long as they didn't say anything to Edward. I was still mad at him and felt betrayed. But I was going to let him be, and when and if he proved to me that he could handle being a father I would let him. I wouldn't put my daughter through that.

Every time I called him the same girl answered, and he never returned my text messages, I finally just gave up. Rose said that she was working for him but thought something else was going on. So I was going to do what he did to me when I was Seth. He loved me enough to let me go, so I will do the same. As long as he's happy then that's what mattered. I wish my daughter knew her father, but she knew her aunt and grandparents. Pulling into the fairgrounds, I quickly found a place to park and unload horses. Before I could even get my door open, Jayce had already jumped out and was running to the back of the trailer.

"Jayce Marie! You know better then to run around horses!" I scolded.

"I'm sorry mom." She pouted and helped me open the back of the trailer. I walked in and untied Twister since he was at the back of the trailer and started to back him out. Once I got him out, I tied him up and went back in to get Sunny. Poor old boys, just when they think their done, at least Sunny is retired from hard work.

I grabbed Jayce's show saddle and threw it on Twister, since she had trail and pleasure first. I had just started to put the bridle on when someone cleared their throat behind us. Please don't be a snobby show mom. Please don't be a snobby show mom!

"Where is my Miss Jay Bird at?" I turned around to the sound of my fathers voice.

"Dad?" I barely got out before Jayce started running.

"Grandpa!" She squealed.

"Hey! What about us!" Alice chirped in.

"Aunt Alice! Aunt Rose! Papa! Nana!" Well hell now it's a family fucking reunion.

"Hey guys, what's everyone doing here?"

"Couldn't miss this little ones first show." Esme or as Jayce calls her, nana, said.

"I have a feeling you where up to this?" I asked looking at Jami. She gave me a quick nod before the announcer said that pleasure would soon be starting. "Ok, well I'm glad your all here, but someone has a horse they need to warm up before going into the arena." Jayce squealed before letting me help her on Twister. They announced her age group and we started to head up to the arena.

"Good Luck!" We all told her before she went in. They went through everything they were suppose to, but since the group was so young, they only did a walk and trot. As they all lined up in the center, the judge walked on the line asking for the horses to back up. Jayce ended up placing second in the class. We were all excited for her. She then had trail and placed fourth in there. We had a lunch brake and I started to stretch out Sunny's legs before I got him saddled. He was warmed up so I threw Jayce's barrel racing saddle on him. Yes, Jayce is going to be just like me with the barrel racing, except she's starting younger then I did.

They called for her age group in barrel racing, so we all walked up there after I helped Jayce on Sunny. She waited her turn and then entered the arena. Sunny might be retired, but he still knows how to do his job. Jayce finished her run with a twenty-three second time. She left the arena with a big smile on her face. Since she was last to run, she also ended up with the best time and taking first place. We were walking back to the trailer, when a group of people, including the show judge walked up to us.

"Miss Swan?" The judge asked.

"Yes?" I said turning around to face him.

"It seems we may have a problem."

"What do you mean a problem?" I said looking at the snobby moms. Just couldn't get through one fricken day without one of them talking to me.

"That horse your daughter is riding can not show in 4-H." One said, wow her voice is really annoying.

"And why can't he?"

"He runs in professional rodeo. He can not compete in 4-H." Another one sneered.

I started to chuckle. I couldn't help it. "Are you serious?" Now my family joined in with me.

"Momma, why can't I show Sunny?" Jayce asked.

"Baby, you can show Sunny."

"No she can't!" One of the moms yelled.

"Oh yes she can. I've read the rule books. This horse has not competed in the professional tour in four years. He's freaking 22 years old for petey's sake. I can't help it if he can still beat your damn push button horses!" I was starting to lose my temper.

"He still can't compete."

"Yes he can. The rules state that if he is no longer competing in professional rodeo, then he can compete in 4-H. Now if you have a problem with that, then I have no problem going to the show board. And trust me, they will listen and side with me. Your choice." I said as I grabbed Sunny's reins and headed back to the trailer.

"She can't do that!" Someone yelled behind me.

"Actually she is correct on the rule books. And when you came to me, you told me that horse was still competing. So I will not do anything about her daughter's awards." The judge said. Ha serves them snobby ass show moms! I unsaddled Sunny and we walked back up to watch the roping events. They had just started breakaway roping when Jayce decided to talk.

"Momma, I wanna learn how to rope." I looked at her dumbfounded. Of course she'd be interested in roping, hell both of her parents roped in rodeo, even though she didn't know that. I didn't know what to do, this is something her father should be teaching her. Her father should have been here for her first show, helping her get ready. Her father should have been here for the last five years. Her father should have been doing a lot of things, instead of fucking ignoring me. He chose that girl over you, and now your daughter. Yeah, well maybe it's fucking time I paid Mr. Edward fucking Cullen a visit, and show him what he missed out on. Fuck! I must have taken to long to answer, because Rose finally answered her.

"Babe, maybe Uncle Emmett or Uncle Jasper will teach you if you ask really really nice." Jayce got a huge smile on her face, while the rest of the family watched me have a battle going on inside my mind. Once the show was over, we loaded the horses and headed back home, with the family following us. Once we got there, Jami helped put the horses away and fed while I went inside to start making dinner for all of us.

Since Edward chose to not talk to me any longer, I kind of cut him out of my life. When we were all together, everyone knew not to talk about Edward around me, so I didn't know where he lived, what he was doing or anything about him anymore. But I was getting tired of all the things he was missing out on with his daughter. I zoned out into my own world, and didn't hear Esme come in.

"Everything ok dear? You seem a little out of it." She asked, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Esme, how is he? What does he do now?" I didn't have to tell her who he was, she knew.

"He's busy. He bought the farm from us and trains horses. He's actually very successful. From what I hear, he finally fired the girl that has been working for him since you left. He found out some things about her that he didn't approve of."

I thought about everything that she just said. Was the girl he just fired, the girl that kept answering his phone? If she was, what did that mean? Was he really waiting for me? "Esme, I think it's time I come back home. I think it's time Jayce learns how to rope from her father." Hopefully this is the right decision.

"I agree dear." Shortly after that everyone came in, and we ate. Alice and Rose where playing Jayce barbie with all the clothes they bought for Jayce. At least it's not Bella Barbie anymore! Since the family was going to be here for a week, instead of flying, I'll ask Rose and Alice to ride with me, leaving Dad, Esme, and Carlisle to fly back. Now I just needed to talk to Jami. I quickly found her, tapped her on the shoulder, and pointed to outside. She nodded and followed me out.

"What's up Bella?" She asked with a look on her face, like she already knew.

"Jami, I've loved working here. And I can never thank you enough for the opportunity you gave me. But I think it's time to head home and for Jayce to meet her dad."

"Well, it's about damn time Bella!" I looked at her shocked. What the hell? "I knew this day was coming. I knew you'd come to your senses and chase after the love you and Edward share. Why do you think you have an "assistant"? Joise is taking your place. I will miss you though. You are one of the best damn trainers around." A tear slid down my face as I hugged her. She really was one of my best friends. We went back inside and found everyone watching TV. I guess now is the time.

"Hey, um, Rose, Alice?" They looked at me, well here goes nothing. "I was wondering if you guys would drive back with me?" Everyone looked at me confused except for Esme and Jami. "Jayce and I are coming home." They squealed and ran to me and hugged me. After everyone hugged and said they were happy for us, Jayce came up to me.

"Momma, does this mean I getta meet my daddy?" How is it that, that one sentence made me feeling like a shitty mother?

"Yes baby. It means you get to meet your daddy." She jumped up in my arms and squealed. Damn, there goes my ear drum. Maybe she is more like Rose and Alice then I thought? After everyone settled down and Rose and Alice agreed to ride back with me, I had one more thing I needed to do. I dialed the number and listened to it ring three times before I heard a voice I hadn't heard in five years.

"Hello?" He asked confused. Oh yeah, I changed my number, so he don't know this one.

"Edward?" I let out the breath I had been holding.

"Yeah, can I ask who is this please?" Somehow a giggle escaped my mouth. "Bella?"

"Yeah Edward, it's me. I'm coming home. We have lots to talk about."

Esme 

When Jayce said she wanted to learn to rope, I knew that flicked on a switch in Bella's head. I knew she was thinking that Edward should be the one teaching her. So when she said they were coming home, I was happy. I knew her reasons for stay away. I can't say that I blame her, but I can't say that I blame Edward either. They are both young, but Bella seems like she is finally coming to her senses about coming home. I know Edward will be shocked, and mad, but he'll get over it and make a good dad. I was kind of mad when she told me that I couldn't tell Edward about Jayce. I thought he should know. But when she told me that he had called and text him numerous times only to either have a girl answer and always say he wasn't busy, or just plane getting ignored, I knew she at least tried. So I didn't tell him, that's her story to tell, not mine.

Over the week, we helped Bella pack all of her stuff and shipped what wouldn't fit. When she moved out here, she only had two horses, so she was able to put some stuff in her trailer. Well now she has four horses and her trailer is full. Before I knew it, we were on the plane heading home. It was going to be a long wait for the girls to get home. They planned on stopping along the way to shop for clothes, tack, and whatever else those four can find. Once they get home, it's gonna be one hell of a storm coming threw.

Bella

Once we got the parents on the place, we started our way back to Forks Washington. A place I thought I'd never go back to. We stopped at a couple of stores, and bought lots of stuff. By the time we were pulling into Washington, you couldn't fit anything else in the cab of the truck. When I talked to Edward, he was happy I was coming home and said I could keep the horses there. It was so good to hear his voice. When we hung up, all I could think about was the feeling of his hands on me. When we got to Forks, it was around noon, we had left Nebraska five days ago. Yeah, the shopping took that freaking long. Heading to Edward's place a song came on the radio.

"Hey Bella, this song kind of reminds me of you and Edward." Alice said. Once I heard the song, silent tears where rolling down my cheeks.

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,

you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it all

I'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

'Cause you know,

you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

'Cause I needed

I need to hear you say

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me and

Never let me go

Alice was right, this song was just us. By the time we got to the farm, Jayce was asleep. Edward met us outside, and I quickly jumped out with Rose and Alice. This is not the time I want Jayce to meet her father. We unloaded the horses and put them in the stalls.

"I see you still got Sunny and Twister?" Edward asked.

"Uh, yeah... um I have someone that rides them." I stumbled out. We were inside the barn with Edward looking at Kissee, when I heard the truck door close. O crap, why now?

"Momma? Momma where are you?" Jayce called out. Edward looked at me funny, and I just turned and went to the end of the barn.

"Right here Baby." Well I guess she's going to meet him sooner then I thought. She ran up to me, I bent down and picked her up. She settled her head on my shoulder with her face towards my neck. She's always does this when she wakes up. I could feel her hot breath on my neck, and Edward walking up behind me.

"I didn't know you were a mother Bella?" He asked.

"Well, um... there's a lot you don't know." I said looking at Rose and Alice. They looked just as nervous as I did.

"Momma, can I see Twist and Sun?"

"Sure, Rose will you take her please? I need to talk to Edward." She nodded, and Jayce climbed down, skipping over to Rose and Alice. I heard Edward's intake of air. Shit, Shit, Shit, he knows.

"Bella, how old is she?" He asked.

"She um, just turned five on May fifth." I said barely above a whisper.

"Who is her father?" I looked up at him as the tears started to fall for the second time today. "It's me, isn't it? I'm her father?"

Chapter Twelve- If Today Was Your Last Day

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

If Today Was Your Last Day

BPOV

Beep... Beep...Beep...Beep I wonder if Seth is going to shut off the damn alarm clock.

Beep... Beep...Beep...Beep What the hell? Leave it to a man to never wake up.

Beep... Beep...Beep...Beep I tried opening my eyes, but they seemed so heavy. Maybe if I just ignore it, I can go back to sleep.

Beep... Beep...Beep...Beep I tried opening my eyes again, only this time I was assaulted by lights. I quickly closed them again. Damn how long did we sleep it? It shouldn't be this bright! I slowly opened my eyes again, letting my eyes adjust only to be met by... everyone. What the hell is everyone doing in our bedroom? Looking around, I noticed they all had a sad expression. I was confused, one why was everyone in my bedroom, and two, why did everyone look so sad?

"Bella, dear?" I looked up at Esme as she talked. "Do you know where you are?"

I snorted, "Of course, what I don't know is why everyone is in my bedroom." I heard someone mumble something about not remembering what happened. What the hell? I remember going to the rodeo last night and Seth and I coming home. I quickly looked beside me, but Seth wasn't there. Where's Seth?

Then I remembered swerving to hit that damn deer. "The deer, I... I... I hit a deer... Where's Seth? Is he alright?" I looked over at Embry when he left out a sob and shook his head. "The bull... Seth... Oh God... no..." I kept shaking my head. This can't be.

"Bella, calm down. Tell us what you remember." Carlisle spoke.

"Seth riding, jumping off, the bull charging him, rushing to the hospital, the doctor, driving my truck, hitting deer... rolling my truck." Rose started sobbing. Why is she crying? She wasn't there, so why is she crying. Rose asking if I was alright, where I was, Rose screaming my name. I felt like someone had grabbed my throat cutting off the air supply my lungs where begging for. Everyone started to get blurry from the tears in my eyes. "Rose, you... you heard... I'm sorry." I sobbed out. I started shaking so badly and I couldn't control it. My entire world crumbled down on me.

"She needs to be sedated, this is to much for her mind to handle." I don't know who said it, but shortly after I felt a stinging in my hand. Looking down I noticed I had an IV in my hand, so I must be in the hospital. I welcomed the darkness as I started being swallowed into it.

Being in this blackness, I felt nothing. No pain, no worries, no loss, nothing. My entire body became numb. I didn't have to come to the realization that Seth was gone, or the fact that when I go home, he won't be there.

When I awoke the only person in my room was Edward. As soon as I saw him fresh tears came along with a quit loud sob. Edward rushed over to my bed and carefully pulled me into a hug. I sat there and cried for what could have been minutes or hours before the doctor entered the room.

"Miss Swan, I'm glad that your awake. Are you ready to discuss your injuries?" I nodded at him. "You have about a hundred stitches on your arms due to the glass cutting you, six stitches on your face, and had a dislocated shoulder which we put back in. All in all, your very lucky you came out of the accident with what you have. Do you have any questions?"

Oh yeah, I'm so lucky that all in one day I lost my fiance and rolled my truck, I'm the luckiest person in the world. "When can I leave and go home?"

"We'd like to keep you the remainder of the day, and if everything looks well tonight, you'll be discharged in the morning." I nodded at him and he turned around and left.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward squeezed my hand lightly.

"I'm as good as I can be given the moment. Edward, how bad is my truck? I remember talking to Rose and then a deer ran out in the road, I tried to miss it. Then I remember hitting it and going off to the side of a hill. I remember feeling my truck tumble, hearing the glass break, from there I don't remember."

Edward sighed before he answered me, "Bella, your truck rolled down the hill about three times before coming to a stop against a tree on the passenger side. It's totaled."

"Are we still in Cheyenne?" Edward nodded. "How are we getting back to Forks?"

"We all flew out here. Your dad has bought you a ticket home already." I nodded and fell back into silence, thinking about things. How did my life get so turned upside down? One minute I'm happy and the next my life has became a living hell. I looked on my left hand where my ring was. I finally realized that I had no right to wear this ring. I loved Seth, but I wasn't in love with him. In my heart, I felt like I kind of used him to get over Edward, and that just made me feel like shit. I slid my ring off just as everyone was walking in the room.

When I looked up, I was looking into Alice's eyes. They were swimming with sadness, whether it was because of me, Seth, or a mixture of both. But I had a feeling it was more for me, she liked Seth, but she had made it known to me that I shouldn't marry him. That it wasn't right of me to love Edward but be engaged to Seth, and now I realized what she meant. It only hurt people in the end, and I had taken the cowards way out. I ran from Edward without giving him a chance to say how he felt, if he felt anything, right into the arms of a man that I took for granted. I would miss Seth, but I knew I didn't deserve his love. I didn't deserve anything he gave me or that we shared.

Alice looked at me and cocked an eyebrow, secretly asking me what was wrong. I gave her a small smile when she grabbed my hand. I slid my ring into her hand, silently asking her to hang on to it, she gave me a short nod before putting it in her pocket. The rest of the day passed in a blur with people coming and going followed by the doctor coming in that night and gave me the ok to leave in the morning. That night after everyone said their goodnight's, I drifted off to sleep.

I was riding out in the pasture, just walking and enjoying the outdoors. I heard Seth's voice and started looking for him. I finally spotted him ahead of me, so I kicked the horse into a run to get to him faster. When I was close enough, I jumped off the horse right into his arms giving him a tight hug.

"Bella, babe, how I've missed you." I started sobbing remembering that I wasn't good enough for him.

"I've missed you."

"Bella, I know how you feel. That you weren't good enough for me. The truth it, it's the other way around." I looked at him confused before he continued. "I rushed you into wanting to get married, even though I knew you loved Edward. I blame myself, but I also blame you. You never spoke up until it was to late. You still love him, and you always will. You two are suppose to be together. Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and be who you want to be. But dont be afraid to be willing to pay the price. You need to take the time to grieve for me, but when it's time, you need to step up and go after what you want." Seth gave me a quick chaste kiss before walking away from me.

I tried running after him, but he got farther and farther away. I sat down in the grass and started to cry until I saw a hand reach down for me. I looked up into emerald green eyes.

"Don't cry love, I'm here. I've always been here, I love you." Edward stated.

I startled awake, breathing heavily. I couldn't stop thinking about that dream. Is that what Seth really would have wanted? Before I had time to think about it, everyone wondered back into my room to get my stuff ready to leave. On the way to the air port I was able to call my insurance company, and they had a check

Soon we were at the airport and boarding the plane. It was decided that once we got in Seattle, I would go to the insurance company, get the check, and go buy a new truck. The ride there seemed short, but then again, I wasn't really paying attention. We stopped at the insurance company and got the check. Everyone decided to just meet us back at Forks after dropping Rose, Alice and I off at the Chevrolet dealership. It didn't take me long to find a truck just like my old one, except in a blue. After doing all the paperwork, and grabbing something to eat, we were on our way home.

"Bella, how are you doing?" Alice asked.

"As well as expected Alice. I don't think everything has fully caught up to me yet."

We spend most of the ride in silence, nobody really sure what to say. When we got to Forks, I dropped them off at Rosalie's house and headed for La Push. Pulling up our driveway, I felt the tears that started to build in my eyes. Seth would never come home again. I parked in my spot next to Seth's truck, and slowly made my way inside. I kept it together until I made it to the bedroom, then I just lost it. I laid there and cried for hours before a thought came to me. I couldn't continue to live here. Everything reminded that I didn't love Seth enough to prevent this from happening.

The next day the family and I met at Harry and Sue's to go over everything for the funeral. Pulling up to there house, I saw Leah leaning against her car. I got out and hugged her and we just let the tears go. I'm not sure how, but we ended up in the house. I hugged everyone before we finally sat down around the table in the dining room.

"Thank you all for joining me, I wish it was under better circumstances. Besides going over the details of the funeral, we also need to talk about the property and finances of Mr. Clearwater. I believe that the property in Seth's name also belongs to a Isabella Swan, is she present?" I nodded at the lawyer and told him that was me. "Ms. Swan, since your name is on the deed, the property is yours do as you wish. Also, there is a checking account with both yours and Seth's name on it. That money is also yours to do with as you please." I was shocked! I didn't know Seth had put my name on his checking account. The lawyer passed everything over to me and then started talking about the funeral. After several hours, everything was planned and the lawyer left.

"Bella, dear, are you ok? You don't seem to be with us?" Sue asked. I looked at her with tears knowing this wasn't easy for her either.

"Well, I would like to talk to everyone. To start with, I would like to know if anyone is interested in the farm?" They all looked at me confused. "I can not stay there, it reminds me to much of everything. If anyone is interested, they can have it, if not, I'm going to sell it. Also when I finished paying off the costs for the funeral, the money that is left over I would like to donate to the Justin Cowboy Crisis Fund. I noticed that that was a foundation Seth made monthly donations to, and it's for a good cause."

"Bella, if you don't mind, I would like the farm, I would like for it to stay in the family." Leah spoke up.

"No problem, please give me a couple weeks to gather my things." She nodded at me and I signed the paperwork stating that Leah now owned the farm. They all agreed to where the money should be donated.

By the end of February I was mentally and physically exhausted. Seth and I decided to hold off on our engagement, Seth's death, my accident, moving out of the farm, donating over $125,000 to the Justin Cowboy Crisis fund and finally, my last goodbye to Seth at the funeral.

I awoke that morning not wanting to move, but knowing that I had to. Today I would say a final goodbye to Seth. I pulled myself up out of bed, and went through my morning routine. When I got to the funeral home, I walked to the casket that held Seth. We had dressed him in his wranglers, boots, and a nice western shirt, but there was something else I needed him to rest in piece with, my engagement ring. I slipped it into his front pocket and silently said "I love you Seth, I'm just sorry I couldn't love you enough." I sat in the chairs for the family and close friends. As the service went on, Leah got up and talked.

This is indeed a sad day for all of us. We have lost such a great person. I think sharing our grief would help us ease our burdens. My brother may have meant something to each and every one of you, personally, he was my guardian angel. I remember when we were in school he often got into fights because of me. People used to tease me and he didn't want to see me get hurt so he tried to protect me. He is also the only person I could confide in. I could talk to him about anything because he never judged or scolded me. He always has some great advice ready for me. He had this trait where he could always turn a dull party around.

My brother was such a character. He knew how to be serious at times and he also knew when to joke around. As a friend he was also very dear. He always found time to be with his friends. He was a very loyal and kind friend. He was also very polite; he was the kind of man who always opened doors for ladies. He could be very immature at times but that's just because he was still a child inside a young man's body.

I know my brother left lots of things undone and others that he never had a chance to start. I remember one of our talks growing up, we talked about death and how our funerals should be. My brother didn't like to see people cry, especially his family. We only talked about this as a joke and now I realize why he mentioned it. He told me he wanted to have rides at his funeral or anything that would make people happy. I jokingly answered him that I could easily arrange for it but I'd have to face mom's wrath. He just answered "that'll no longer be my problem". That talk happened just last month. Let's just be thankful for all the special moments that my brother has left us. And with that, I hope that my brother will continue to live on within our hearts and minds.

By the time she was done talking, I couldn't control the sob that broke through me. The service was over shortly after followed by the burial.


I was back to living with my dad and my horses where back to being boarded at Cullen Farms. This was my clean slate. I was starting over. I wasn't going to regret anything from now on, and I wasn't going to be a coward about my decisions. Seth's death and my wreck made me wake up. It was time for me to grow up and act like the nineteen year old I was.

I decided that it was time to get back in the arena, so Edward and I started back on our regular practice schedule. We were going to finish this season off right. At first being around Edward was a little weird for me, after all Seth told me right before he died that he knew I still love Edward.

By the end of the rodeo session, Edward and I had gotten close. He would hold my hand once in a while, or kiss me on the cheek, he even offered to travel to Nebraska to help me move. We finished out the season in fourth place for team roping earning us some money. I was leaving for Nebraska in two days, and Alice was throwing a going away party. I dressed in a simple pair of light jeans, a blue thank top, my camo boots and a necklace that had Cowgirl on it. I drove out to the Cullen's house where Alice was having the party. Before I could even shut my truck off, Alice came bouncing up to me.

"Bella! Yay your here!" She yelled.

"Uh, yeah Alice, you threatened that if I didn't show up you were gonna beat me." I laughed at the image of Alice trying to beat me up.

"Yes, well, were all going to miss you. Make sure you keep Edward in line driving out there. I know this is a great opportunity for you!" We had entered the the barn and everyone greeted me and gave me a hug. We talked and ate lots of food and snacks. I was truly going to miss everyone, but this was something I couldn't pass up. I mean come on, training horses at one of the top barns in the USA. I'd be a fucking moron if I turned it down.

Before I knew it, I was picking up my horses along with Edward to make the drive to Nebraska. The drive was long, but comfortable. Edward and I talked along the way and got to know somethings that we didn't know about each other. As I was getting ready to pull into the drive way of Jami's, a song came on so I slowed down so I could listen to it.

My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day's a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by

That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?

What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life

What's worth the price is always worth the fight

Every second counts 'cause there's no second try

So live like you're never living twice

Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?

Reminisce old memories?

Would you forgive your enemies?

And would you find that one you're dreaming of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day

Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?

You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars

Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes

'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life

Let nothing stand in your way

'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?

Reminisce old memories?

Would you forgive your enemies?

And would you find that one you're dreaming of

Swear up and down to God above

That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

When the song ended, I knew that the past was history. And today was the start of a new tomorrow.

Edward

The last couple of months have been hard on Bella. I could tell she was blaming herself for Seth's death. I didn't want to move onto her, because I knew she wasn't ready. Driving to Nebraska with her was probably the best thing I could have done. I was able to get close to her, and I didn't know when I would get to see her next. When we were almost there, a Nickelback song came on. By the end of the song, Bella seemed finally at peace with herself. Listening to the song, I knew that if today was my last day, I wouldn't be ready. I decided that before my plane left to take me back to Forks, I would tell Bella how I felt. When we pulled up by the barn, we were met with a shorter lady. She was probably the same size as Bella, with shorter dark hair and hazel eyes.

"Bella, so glad you made it safely!" The woman said.

"Thank you Jami. We didn't have any problems. This is a good friend of mine Edward, Edward this is my new boss Jami." Bella said. I stepped forward and shook her hand.

"Well, lets get your horses unloaded and settled in, then we will show you the apartment you will be living in."

After we got the horses settled in, I helped Bella move what little stuff she brought with her into her new apartment. We spend the next day walking around where she was going to be living at, and getting settled in. I was leaving tomorrow morning, so I told Bella I would make dinner tonight. I ended up making us lasagna for dinner. We ate and then I cleaned up. Bella was getting ready for bed and I knew it was now or never.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" She sat down on the couch and nodded for me to continue. "Bella that song song that we listened to right before we got here, it got me thinking. When you told me that you loved me then left, I felt a pain in my chest, and at first I didn't know what caused it. The more I got to thinking about it, I knew what was causing it."

"Edward, what in the world are you talking about?" Bella asked.

"What I'm saying Bella, is that I love you!"

Chapter Eleven- Just A Dream

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Just A Dream

Bella

Since I came home from the professional tour, everything has been great. Edward and I started roping again, and seemed like it was back to how it was before everything blew up in my face. The only thing different was, it seemed like Edward was touching me more or helping me out more. He would saddle Twister for me or would stand closer then normal. At first, I was unsure what to think, then I just brushed it off as Edward being friendly.

It was the beginning of February, so still pretty cold. I was walking to the door to put my coat on to do chores then head to Edward's to practice when my phone went off. I looked at the caller ID and couldn't help but smile.

"Well hello Miss Jami. What do I owe this surprise?" I asked.

"Hmm, let me think. How about you move your ass out here to Nebraska?" She said cheerful.

"Jami, did you take a crazy pill this morning? Because I'm pretty sure you lost your marbles." I laughed out.

"No, I did that yesterday on one of our trainers." She laughed and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Jami and the trainers didn't always see eye to eye. "But the reason I'm calling is because you barrel race."

"Um, ok?" I asked confused.

"Bella, besides calling to talk to one of my best friends, I'm calling about a job offer." She stated seriously.

"I'm still lost?"

"Our barrel racing trainer is leaving us the end of this year. I'm offering you the job. I know you need to talk to Seth about it before you give me an answer. You would have an apartment here on the farm. Please just think about it." She begged.

"I'll let you know by the end of the day." I told her. We said our goodbyes and I closed my phone. I sat there at the kitchen table just thinking for a while. This could change everything, it's something I wanted to do eventually. I've always enjoyed helping people with their horses, even more so when it came to barrel racing. I didn't hear Seth walk into the kitchen until he placed his hand on my shoulder. I jumped a little bit then looked at him. He had a confused look on this face.

"Bella, is everything alright?"

"Seth we need to talk." He nodded and sat across from me at the table. "Jami just called me. She uh... well... her barrel racing trainer is leaving her the end of this year." He nodded for me to continue. "She um... she offered me the job?" I couldn't help that it came out as a question. Seth looked at me shocked for a little while before a smile spread across his face.

"Bella, this is a great opportunity for you!" Seth yelled while getting out of his chair and grabbing me into a hug.

"I know it is, but how will this affect us?"

"Bella, I love you. We will work through this. Hell, we could move to Nebraska and if you ever got bored we could keep the farm and just move back. If this is what you want, call Jami and tell her you'll take the job." Seth kissed my temple before going to the bedroom to get dressed. I quickly called Jami and told her that I would love to take the job. She told me I would start in September shortly after my birthday. We said quick goodbyes with promises of calling each other soon.

I yelled up to Seth that I was leaving while walking out the door to do chores. After I fed Sunny, I got in the truck and headed to Edward's. I was nervous that he would think I was just leaving him again. During the entire practice, all I could think about was Edward was going to get mad at me. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, and I kept missing my loops. I was slowly driving myself crazy. Edward said we were done with practice and left the arena, me following after him. When I was just about to take my saddle off Twister, a thought crossed my mind, what if I leave and nothing works out. If I lose my friends here and have nothing to come back to.

"Bella, this summer will be fine. We can work it out to where when we don't have a rodeo, you can travel with Seth." Edward said.

"What? Oh, I wasn't worried about that. Seth and I already had it figured out to do what you just said." I said nervously.

"Ok, then what's wrong?"

Well here goes nothing. "Well, last summer I became friends with a girl named Jami Jensen. She's from Nebraska and her family owns a rodeo horse training barn." He nodded at me to continue. "Well, their barrel racing trainer is going to be retiring the end of this summer, and she offered me job. I accepted it, please don't be mad at me, we can still rope this summer." Edward looked like he was thinking about something for a moment. He walked up to me and put his lips to mine. At first I was shocked, didn't move, didn't do anything. He put his hands on my waist and then I finally moved. I started to move my lips against his, my hands worked their way up his forearm, to his biceps, to his shoulders, before they finally ended in his hair. He licked my bottom lip with his tongue, wanting to have access to my mouth, which I gladly gave him. My tongue started to move against Edward's while he explored the inside of my mouth. made me feel in heaven.

The way Edward's mouth moved with my was like heaven. I couldn't help it when I tugged on his hair a little big causing him to moan. When I started to gasp for air, I pulled away from him, when everything that just happened flashed through my mind. I just kissed someone that wasn't my fiance. What is Seth going to say? SHIT! I hurriedly grabbed Twister, put him in his stall, before running to my truck to leave.

When I got home, Seth wasn't there, so that left me and my mind alone. I went for a ride on Sunny hoping to clear my mind, and it didn't seem to do a damn thing. I got in the shower and went to bed. When I awoke the next morning, I had more questions then I did answers. Why did Edward kiss me? Why did he decide to kiss me now? He was just happy for you, your just friends. Get over it.

Seth left early this morning to travel and after the rodeo tonight, I was going to drive out to Cheyenne and meet up with the guys. I pulled myself out of bed, brushed my teeth and hair, and got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Before leaving the room, I grabbed another pair of jeans and one of my long sleeve shirts I use for rodeo. Heading out of the house, I put the clothes in my truck and hooked up my trailer, then loaded Sunny. Edward and I decided to do a quick practice before we left, so I headed over to his house.

Once I pulled in, I grabbed Sunny's hay bag and tied to the side of the trailer, then unloaded him so he could eat while we practiced. Walking into the barn, I got a little nervous once I saw Edward. When he kissed me yesterday, I was in heaven. But I couldn't help but think about why he did it. I saddled up Twister and noticed Edward kept looking at me. When I finally looked him in the eyes, I was confused, because I didn't know where this left us. Then I was sad, because there could never be an us. It would be Edward and Bella and Seth, never a Bella and Edward.

"Bella, I'm sorry about yesterday. I crossed the line, I was just so happy for you." Edward broke the silence. I was heartbroken because I knew this was why he did it, but it just hurt more hearing him say it out loud.

"It's OK Edward, I know you were happy for me. Can we just forget about it?"

"Yeah, OK, let's practice Bella." He said as he grabbed my horse and started to walk in the arena.

I tried not to focus on that kiss, but it was hard. Once we finished with our quick practice, we loaded the horses and headed towards Walla Walla. The eight hour drive was quiet for the most part, with us just listening to the radio. Once we got there, we made our way to the office to check in and pay our dues. When we got back to the trailer, we unloaded the horses and started to saddle them. I saddled Twister first, then just as I finished saddling Sunny, I heard a voice I never wanted to hear again.

"Edward, your roping this year? I thought everyone left for college?" Kate asked.

"Yes I'm roping this year." Edward stated.

"Please tell me your not roping with Bella. She's so worthless in the arena. Shouldn't even own horses." She sneered. I thought that she learned her damn lesson the last time we competed against each other. I will not stand for her to trash talk me, let's just say I was pissed when I walked around my trailer.

"Yes, I am roping with Bella again this year." Edward said.

"Pathetic." That was all it took for me to open my mouth.

"Kate, as I recall, I beat your ass the last time I raced against you." Kate just glared at me before walking towards Jacob and giving him a kiss.

"What the fuck?" I almost screamed. "Is she with fucking Jacob?" Edward just nodded at me. I was pissed.I tied Twister and started to warm Sunny up for barrels. Kate was just leaving the arena when we got there, with a time of 18.23 seconds.

"I bet you can't beat that time with that old horse of yours Bella." Kate sneered. I just looked at her, thinking that not only have I beaten her time, but she was also with my ex boyfriend.

I knew Sunny could handle the ground in this arena, and he knew what he was doing, so I just nudged him letting him know it was time to go, and just hung on. I left the arena with a time of 16.35 and just glared at Kate as I walked back to the trailer to get Twister. I could hear Edward following behind me laughing.

By the end of the day I took first place in barrels and in team roping we took third, not a bad way to start the season off. We loaded the horses and started to head home. I turned the radio on, and we listened to a couple songs before Taylor Swift came on. I laughed and started to sing along with the song. We joked and sang songs on the way home. I was enjoying the time with Edward knowing that the drive to Cheyenne tomorrow was going to be long and lonely. But what your really going to miss is the time with Edward.

When we got back I dropped Edward and his horse off, deciding to leave Twister at the farm in La Push. I already had it arranged with the neighbor girl Claire to take care of them while I was gone for the week. I unloaded the horses and fed them before heading inside to bed. I awoke at four the next morning to finish packing my bags and heading out the door.

Finally after a twenty hour drive I was pulling into the ranch in Casper. Embry and Seth met me in front of the house that we would be staying in until we make the two and a half hour drive on Saturday. When Seth pulled me into a hug and gave me a kiss, all I could see and feel was Edward. This can't be healthy!

"Bella, I'm so happy you made it here safely." Seth said with Embry agreeing with him.

"Yep, here I am. I'm really tired, do you guys mind if I head to bed?" I asked. They both said to go ahead and that Seth would bring my bag into the room for me. Once I laid down on the bed, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. Wednesday and Thursday I helped out Emily as much as possible trying to figure out how I'm going to tell Seth about the kiss between Edward and I. Friday I was out in the barn helping Sam move hay when Seth and Embry came in.

"Hey Sam, mind if I steal Bella for a couple minutes?" Seth asked.

"No, go ahead, we are about done moving hay anyway." Sam answered. Seth grabbed my hand as I was taking my gloves off and handing them to Embry to use. Seth started to pull me towards the pasture and remained silent. This can't be good. Once we were far enough away from people to hear us, Seth turned to look at me. Looking in his eyes, I could see sadness and that he almost seemed hopeless.

"Bella, please tell me what is going on." He asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

"You have been pretty much avoiding me since you got here. Please tell me why."

"Seth... I... we... fuck! I don't know what to do!" I almost screamed because I was so frustrated.

"Do about what Bella?"

"Last week something happened, and I'm not sure what to think."

"What happened?"

"Well... I.. um... Edward and I kissed?" I was a little nervous about how he would take that.

It seemed to take him a while before he answered. "Bella... what are you feeling? How do you feel about Edward... about me?"

Now it was my turn to think. How did I feel? "You want the truth Seth?" He nodded at me so I continued. "I'm not really sure how I feel. When it comes down to it, I love you both." I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks before I could even try to stop them. Seth looked at me then to the ground.

"Bella, I love you, I want to marry you. When I asked you to marry me, I had a feeling that you still loved Edward. I want you to take the time that you need, to figure out what you want. Whether it's me or Edward, I just want you happy."

I just stood there shocked, did he really just say that? I nodded at him and we headed back to the house. I went and laid down in the bed to think. Seth knew I still loved Edward, but he still went ahead and asked me to marry him. When he asked me to marry him, I knew that I still loved Edward, so why did I agree to marry him? Did I think that if I was to marry Seth, all my feelings would just go away when it came to Edward? Some time while thinking I fell asleep.

Friday we all just hung around before heading to Cheyenne to do some shopping before the rodeo. Saturday before Seth rode I knew I needed to talk to him. We hadn't talked alone for a while. Walking up to him behind the chutes, I whispered in his year if we could talk. He nodded and pulled us away from everyone.

"What's up Bella?" He asked. I got on my tippy-toes and gave him a kiss. It started out sweet and innocent, but I soon found myself wanting more. I licked his bottom lip, he soon opened his mouth and our tongues started moving together. I couldn't help the moan that came out of my mouth. In this moment, I could only think of Seth, the way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way he touches me. It was all to much. I tugged a little bit on his hair, making him moan into my mouth and lean into me. I felt like we could kiss forever. The only thing that pulled Seth away from me was the announcement of the starting of bull riding.

"I love you Seth. I just wanted you to know that, and never doubt that I love you."

"I love you to Bella, I just want you happy." He gave me another kiss before going behind the chutes again. I went to the stands and quickly found a place to sit. It was close to the edge so when the guys were done riding, I could easily get back to the chutes. Seth was second to last to ride, so I watched everyone else. Embry got thrown, and Quil got a score of 68. Since it rained yesterday the arena was pretty muddy and I was happy I wasn't competing in this rodeo, but I felt sorry for the people to had to get in the mud for their events. Make sure to remind the guys to change clothes and get cleaned up before they get in my truck.

"Next up we have Seth Clearwater of Forks Washington in chute number seven!" The announcer said. I couldn't help but let the scream out of my mouth to cheer him on. I saw him nod his head, as the chute door opened and the bull came flying out. Seth stuck to the bull as it was twisting and turning trying to get him off. After eight seconds, the buzzer went and Seth jumped off the bull landing in the mud.

From there, it seemed like everything happened in slow motion, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Seth wasn't standing yet, he had just landed in the slippery, slick mud,and was raising himself up on his hands and knees, keeping his eyes on the bull. He knew the bull was there, right there, charging at him from behind. He tried to scoot away, but his cowboy boots gave him no traction on the muddy ground.

He tried to lunge forward fast, but the bull was faster. The bull hit Seth with his head in the back of Seth's legs, and knocked Seth flat on the ground. Seth turned on his right side, trying to keep his eyes on this animal that weighed a ton. Then he started to curl up. If he couldn't get away, then he knew he had to make himself as small as possible.

The bull, still agitated and moving forward, never stopping, turned and dipped his head, and pushed his right horn into Seth's left side. It hit Seth hard enough and long enough, to slide him forward on the muddy ground. The bull bucked over Seth, moving towards the bull fighters. Seth quickly got to his feet and, holding his left arm stiffly at his side, he began a slow jog back to the gates. He motioned with his right arm for help, but before anyone could get to him, he collapsed and fell back into the mud. I saw Quil and Embry running out to the arena, and I was quickly behind them.

"NO!" I screamed while I climbed over the paneled fence, running and slipping in the mud until I finally got close to him. Embry heard me screaming and hurried to me and grabbing me as I collapsed with him in the mud. The EMT's quickly strapped Seth to the stretcher and rushed to the ambulance. Quil came jogging over to us, and picked me up carrying me to the truck. I was numb, I couldn't think of anything except what I just saw. I felt one of the guys digging in my jeans for my keys before putting me in the back seat.

This can not be happening. Seth will be ok. It's not that bad, he'll just be sore for the next few days. I closed my eyes and saw the look for horror and pain on Seth's face before letting out a sob. We quickly arrived at Memorial Hospital and rushed into the emergency room. We didn't have to wait long before the doctor came out. Just the look on his face told me everything I didn't want to know or hear.

"The bull's horn didn't break through Seth's skin, however the horn had broken his ribs. The broken ribs severed a main artery. I'm so sorry, we tried everything we could, but we just couldn't bring Seth back." I heard everyone around me gasp and start crying. Me, I was so numb, I didn't feel anything. It was like I was no longer in my body. I grabbed my keys from Quil and ran out to my truck. As soon as I got in, I started it and threw it in reverse. I left the parking lot as fast as possible.

It was two weeks after the day she turned 18

All dressed in white

Going to the church that night

she had his box of letters in the passangers seat

six pence in her shoe

something borrowed,something blue

And when the church doors opened up wide

She put her veil down trying to hide the tears

Oh she just couldn't believe it

She heard the trumpets from the military band

And the flowers fell out of her hands

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm, looking from a distance

Standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray

Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt

Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song

That she ever heard

Then they handed her a folded up flag

And she held on to all she had left of him

Oh, And what could've been

And then guns rang one last shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart

I couldn't do it anymore. I pulled out my cell phone and called the one person that could help me threw this.

Rosalie

The party tonight was really good. They had a live band, and of course the beer. Damn, I love college. Alice and I had just entered our dorm room when my phone started ringing. I looked at the time and saw it was past 11:30 then looked at the caller ID to see Bella's name flashing at me. I quickly answered, wondering why she was calling me this late.

"Hello?"

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm, looking from a distance

Standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

"Rose, he's gone. He's gone." Bella was sobbing. Shit this can't be good.

"Bella, whose gone?"

"Seth. The bull killed him." She was sobbing so hard.

"Bella, calm down, where are you?"

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

Ooh, I'll never know

It's like I'm, looking from a distance

Standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

"I don't know, I'm driving. FUCK!" I heard her scream.

Oh, This is just a dream

Just a dream

yeahhh...

I heard the sound of brakes and skidding, followed by the sound of metal being crunched and glass breaking. "Bella!" I screamed. I didn't hear anything. "Bella!" I screamed again. Still silence.

"Miss Swan, this is Betty with All-star, we got a signal you were just in a roll-over. Are you alright?" O fuck, Bella, please answer. "Miss Swan can you hear me? We have notified local law enforcement that you were in a wreck ten miles north of Cheyenne. I will stay with you until law enforcement get there."

"Bella!" I screamed out again, only to notice that the line went dead. "FUCK!" I yelled out loud. I quickly found Charlie's number while telling Alice what I just heard.

"Swan residence." I heard Charlie answer.

"Charlie! It's Bella, she's been in a wreck outside of Cheyenne. Seth was killed riding tonight." I started sobbing out.

"Rose calm down. I'm heading out of the door right now!" I hung up my phone and started crying. Alice grabbed me in a hug crying before she got on the phone to make arrangements for us to fly out to Cheyenne. The she quickly called Jasper and told him and Emmett to get over to our dorm so we could leave while filling them in. Everyone was informed, except for Edward. I started dialing his number, only to have to restart three times because of my shaking fingers. I finally got the number in and hit send.

"What do you want Rose? It's midnight! Go to bed." I could tell that I woke him up and he was pissed. A sob escaped my mouth before I could stop it.

"Edward, there's been an accident."

"What's wrong Rose."

"Bella was upset and Oh God!" I screamed out. "Seth was riding tonight and the bull killed him. Bella was upset and was driving. Edward, she rolled her truck."

"Where is she Rose?" He almost growled out. I knew he loved Bella, he just wouldn't admit it.

"She's outside of Casper. We are flying out. Please come!" I didn't hear anything. "Edward?" I looked at my phone to see that he had already hung up. Everyone had arrived and we left the room jumping into Jasper's truck. I tried calling Bella's phone and it went straight to her voice mail.

"Hey this is Bella. I'm either on a horse, in the arena, or just can't make it to my phone. Leave a message and I'll get back to ya!"

Please God, let Bella be alright and make it through this!

This chapter is dedicated to Lane Frost. He was a great buller rider, and is greatly missed.


Lane Frost was a World Champion Bull Rider killed in Cheyenne, Wyoming in 1989 while
competing in the popular "Cheyenne Frontier Days" Rodeo.


After a successful 8-second ride, Lane dismounted from the bull. The bull quickly pivoted,
came up behind Lane and hit him twice, before Lane even had a chance to completely stand
up from his dismount. The second time the bull hit him with his horn, breaking Lane’s ribs,
which severed a main artery. Lane died within moments.


To learn more about Lane Frost please visit the Tribute Site.  For more information on the Justin Boot Cowboy Crisis Fund please click here.