Chapter Fourteen- Far Away

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Broken

Edward

When I left Nebraska, my entire world crashed. Leaving Bella was the hardest thing I have ever had to do at this point in my life. After she shared her body with me, I knew I would need her by my side. She was wonderful, and now she kept my heart. When I got home, I threw myself into my job. I filled my barn up with as many horses as I could, and did nothing but work. It was to the point to where I had to hire someone to help me. Lauren. She wasn't the nicest person to be around in high school, but she did know about horses, plus she could work around my schedule.

The first month after I left Nebraska, Bella and I talked on the phone but mainly sent text messages. She was busy getting used to working with top end horses, and she also had a full barn. I wanted her with me, working in my barn along side me, but I knew she needed this. Working for Jami Jensen was a great opportunity and Bella deserved it. After that first month, the text messages came less and less. I knew she was busy, but it almost felt like she was pulling away from me.

Over the last five years, I somehow ended up losing contact with Bella. I still loved her and that caused that much more hurt without being able to talk to her. I kept throwing myself into training and always had a full barn. When my parents decided to move into town, they sold the farm to me. I even added another barn for stalls. Lauren kept working for me, even though she kept trying to get me to take her out.

Cullen Farms became the top training facility in Washington, so I was building up a pretty good savings. Since I lost touch with Bella, I had always hoped that she would come home. I had everything set up for us. I owned the farm, plus the savings, now I just needed her home.

Lauren

When I heard Bella was moving to Nebraska, I couldn't have been happier. Now I would get my chance with Edward. I had fallen in love with Edward in high school, but with the three bitches around him all the time, I was never given the time of day. Yeah, well that's about to fucking change. Edward is mine now and no one else's. When I found out he was hiring for someone to work at his barn, I immediately applied. This was totally my time.

The first couple of weeks working there, I noticed Edward still talked to Bella. Not for long. When Edward was working, he left his cell phone in the barn office, perfect. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was filling out the paperwork for the order we were about to place. You know the usual, grain, treats, vet wrap, and all the crap. When Edward's phone vibrated, it startled me at first, then I saw the name that I wish would just disappear, Bella.

"Hello?" I answered. I didn't hear her, and I was about to say hello again when the bitch finally spoke.

"Uh, is Edward available?"

"No, he's um... busy right now." I giggled, trying my best to imply that he was sexually busy right now. It must have worked, because she quickly hung up. I was finally getting her out of the picture. I quickly went into the call log, and deleted her number, so according to the phone, she never fucking called. I kept doing that every time she called or sent a text message. I could see the change in Edward when she "no longer wanted to talk to him." But he has me now, so he'll get over it. She quite calling and texting shortly after that.

One day in the barn I saw Alice and Rose walk in, guess their back for some break from school, they were getting ready to go for a ride. I ignored them and went into the tack room to straighten it up when I heard them talking.

"So, are we going to go to Nebraska and see Jayce for her fourth birthday?" Alice asked. Who the fuck is Jayce?

"Of course, you think I'm going to miss my nieces birthday?" Niece? It's only her and Edward and Edward don't have a kid.

"I wish Edward could go with us. I know he would love Jayce." Alice almost whispered.

"I know, Jayce is looking more like him everyday. She has Edward's eyes, and did you see her hair the last time? It's starting to look more like Edward's every time I see her." Edward has a fucking daughter! Does he know?

"Yes, I saw. Those two really did have a perfect little girl. To bad Edward gave up his chance at ever meeting his daughter." Now I feel kind of bad, this little girl will never know her father because of me.

"As is life. Let's ride." Alice squealed.

I had lived with that information for a year. It seemed to eat at me everyday. I wanted Edward, but at what price? That day when the girls left, I snuck into Rose's purse and saw a picture of Bella and a little girl on a horse. I'm guessing that little girl is Jayce, and they were right, she is beautiful. Just looking at her you could tell she was Edward's by the emerald green eyes, and the reddish tint in her brown hair. She also had his chin and cheek bones, but you could also see a lot of Bella in her.

I was cleaning out a stall and that picture kept flashing in my mind. She had just turned five if I remember correctly. I wonder if she looks more like Edward or Bella now? At this line of thinking, I was getting pissed at myself. I shouldn't be thinking about those two, I'm the one that's fucking here with Edward, she left him. But you also played a part in it. Your the reason Edward doesn't know he has a daughter. I swear I could feel the fucking steam coming out of my ears, I was so pissed. I didn't hear Edward walk to the stall I was in.

"Lauren when you get a chance, will you take Jack and Star and put them in the pasture?" Just the sound of his voice brought that picture back in my head again.

"You fucking do it." I mumbled. Fuck did I just say that out loud?

"Excuse me?" I looked up at Edward and he looked mad. Good, time to dance asshole. "Last I checked, that is what I paid you for."

"Then maybe you should fucking look for someone else!" I yelled.

"Is there something you want to tell me, because by all fucking means, spit it out." Wow, he's even more hot when he's pissed off.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to. That spot is strictly on your family."

"My family has nothing to do with your job."

"You'd be surprised what I hear in this barn when your family is around." I mumbled.

"What did you hear?"

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."

"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." He stated calming. That just pissed me off even more. He stood and watched me as I walked out of the stall and grabbed my stuff. As I was walking down the ally way, I couldn't help what came out of my mouth next.

"You should ask your family about your daughter!" I yelled. Even though I didn't get Edward, I knew what I did to Bella and now Edward, those two would never be fucking together again. And that alone is almost better then me and Edward together!

Edward

I was just finishing up riding a horse when I remember I hadn't let Jack and Star out. I had retired Jack, and Star was a mare that was brought to me to breed her with Jack. She was due in about two months, so we kept her outside at much as possible on the nice days. Walking up the ally way, I could hear Lauren cleaning out one of the stalls, so I walked over to her.

"Lauren when you get a chance, will you take Jack and Star and put them in the pasture?" I asked. It was still early in the day, so I was in no big hurry.

"You fucking do it." I heard her mumble mumbled.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe she just said that. "Last I checked, that is what I paid you for."

"Then maybe you should fucking look for someone else!"

"Is there something you want to tell me, because by all fucking means, spit it out." I was getting pissed. I was her fucking boss, not her friend.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to. That spot is strictly on your family." What the hell is she talking about?

"My family has nothing to do with your job."

"You'd be surprised what I hear in this barn when your family is around." I heard her mumble again.

"What did you hear?" Maybe they heard from Bella!

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."

"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." I stated. I watched her as she grabbed all her stuff and start to walk out.

She was halfway down the ally way when she yelled out, "You should ask your family about your daughter!" And with that she was gone. My what? I don't have a daughter. I couldn't think about it to long, now I had a lot to do today. I finished riding the horses, cleaning stalls, and feeding. Somehow I found time to call my mom, of course since they were on a vacation somewhere, I got her voice mail. I asked her when she was coming home, that I fired Lauren and was wondering if she was interested in helping out until I found someone new.

By the time I was done with everything, I pulled my ass inside and took a shower. I had just sat down to eat when my cell rang. Looking at it, I didn't recognize the number, but knew it was from out of state.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward?" A lady spoke. Maybe she wanted me to train her horse?

"Yeah, can I ask who is this please?" I asked. Before she answered, a giggle escaped her mouth, and I would know that giggle from anywhere. It's a sound I've waited five years to hear again. "Bella?"

"Yeah Edward, it's me. I'm coming home. We have lots to talk about."

After talking to Bella for a short period, I found out that she was indeed coming home. She wanted to know if I knew of anyplace for her to board her four horses, and I told her she could keep them here. After all, I had about five or six that would be leaving this week. She said she was going to spend the week packing, then be driving out here. I couldn't wait to see her. Shortly after that, my mother called and said they would be home towards the end of the week, but she acted like she knew something from the excitement in her voice.

The following week passed by so slowly. Of course, I was waiting for Bella to come home. I ended up having to wake up earlier in the mornings to do chores that Lauren normally did, then ride, do chores again, go in, shower, eat, and then head to bed. Today was a day that I didn't ride horses, in a way their day off, so I was cleaning up the tack room It was around noon when I heard a truck pull into my driveway. When it got closer, I could see Bella driving, and Rose in the front seat. Oh she has some explaining to fucking do!

When they parked, Bella jumped out along with Rose and then Alice. What the fuck! I would ask them later, right now I was to happy to see Bella. She had gotten older, you could tell by her body, but damn she still looked good. We each grabbed a horse and walked into the barn, me telling them what stalls where open. I was shocked to see that she still had Sunny and Twister though, but the other two horses were good looking. I kept seeing Rose and Alice look at me apologetically, they knew they were going to get a talking to.

"I see you still got Sunny and Twister?" I finally asked.

"Uh, yeah... um I have someone that rides them." She stumbled out. I was looking at her dun that she called Kissee, when I heard a truck door close.

"Momma? Momma where are you?" I heard a little girl call out. I looked at funny kind of funny, because there shouldn't be a little girl around the farm. She had a worried look on her face before she turned and walked to the end of the barn.

"Right here Baby." Baby? Momma? What the hell is going on here? The little girl ran up to Bella, and she bent down and picked her up. She settled her head on Bella's shoulder with her face towards her neck. I walked up behind her, a little she has a daughter. Maybe I'm to late. Yep, my plans just went out the fucking window!

"I didn't know you were a mother Bella?" I stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"Well, um... there's a lot you don't know." She said looking at Rose and Alice. I looked over at them and they looked nervously at Bella, then looked at me apologetically again. I questioned them with my eyes until the little girl spoke again.

"Momma, can I see Twist and Sun?"

"Sure, Rose will you take her please? I need to talk to Edward." I looked back as Rose nodded, and the little girl climbed down, skipping over to Rose and Alice. When she was skipping over to them, I got a good look at her. I felt myself take in an intake of air. She had my eyes, my color hair, then a conversation came back to me.

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."


"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." I stated. I watched her as she grabbed all her stuff and start to walk out.


She was halfway down the ally way when she yelled out, "You should ask your family about your daughter!"

"Bella, how old is she?" I whispered.

"She um, just turned five on May fifth." Bella whispered back just as quietly.

"Who is her father?"I asked. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. In that moment I knew, I knew that my family kept this from me, that Bella kept this from me, and that some how fucking Lauren knew. "It's me, isn't it? I'm her father?" Bella simply nodded. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" I whisper yelled. That last sentence seemed to spark something within her.

"Rose, please take Jayce outside." Jayce? My daughter's name was Jayce. I watched Rose and Alice walk out of the barn with Jayce before Bella turned her attention back to me. Oh shit, I know that look, this isn't going to be pretty. "Edward, do you know what you said to me before you left?" I didn't even have time before she continued. "You said that you loved me, and that you would fucking wait for me. A fucking month after you left, I found out I was pregnant. I called you to tell you, and guess what Edward, you didn't fucking wait. You lied. I tired to contact you to tell you! I called numerous times and a girl always answered! I sent you text messages, fucking begging you to call me, and you never fucking did. I have spent that last five years raising MY daughter because her father was to much of an asshole to return my phone calls. YOU are her father. YOU missed five years of her life, while YOU where playing with some other fucking girl. YOU Edward, all fucking YOU!" By the time she was done, she was crying.

I didn't know what girl she was talking about, I haven't been with anyone since Bella. She had tried to tell me I had a daughter. "Bella, I haven't been with anyone since you. I've been waiting for only you." I stumbled out. When she finally looked at me, my heart broke. She looked so sad and defeated.

"Then who was the fucking woman that answered your phone?" She almost yelled.

"Bella, I don't know. There hasn't been a woman here except those who I train horses for. And then theres..." I stopped. Lauren. Would she have really done something like this? "Lauren." I finished. She looked at me with her mouth dropping open. "I hired Lauren after I came back from Nebraska. My barn got to busy, I needed the help. She would have had access to my phone." All Bella did was nod, before we heard the voices coming back in. Jayce came running up to Bella, before Bella gave her a stern look and she slowed down to a walk.

"Momma, Aunt Rose said my daddy trains roping horses!" She was almost jumping in spot. So she knew who her aunt was. I looked at Rose and she simply nodded as if she could read my mind. "Does this mean my daddy will teach me?"

"I'm sure your daddy would love to teach you. You know Twister?" Bella asked, Jayce nodded. "Your daddy used to own him." Jayce started jumping in place.

"That is sooooooo cool!" She squealed. I heard a truck coming up the drive and looked at my watch. It was probably my mom. When she walked in, she was followed by my dad, Jasper and Emmett. Mom saw Jayce and looked at me with a questioning look. Before I could say anything, Jayce went running to them.

"Nana! Papa!" What the hell? How did she know them? As my dad sat her down, she finally saw the other to. Before Jayce even moved Emmett had picked her up and started spinning her. "Uncle Em! Put me down please." He sat her down before she ran over to Jasper. "Uncle Jazz!" She yelled, launching herself into his arms. I looked around at everyone, and they were all looking at me.

"Can someone please tell me what in the hell is going on here?" I yelled.

"Momma, he said a naughty word. Should I get the soap?" Jayce said causing everyone to chuckle.

"No baby, no soap." Bella said looking sternly at me. I couldn't handle this, I turned and walked out of the barn towards my truck. Once I got in, I started it up and left my driveway, and just drove.

I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

How could it have come down to this?

You've gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Did my family know? Of course they did. Jayce knew who they were. She jumped into their open arms. Will Bella let me step up and be there for her and Jayce now that I know? How could my family do this to me?

Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone

You've gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

I had only gotten to Forks before I decided to turn around. I wouldn't get the answers I wanted, no needed, without talking to them. Pulling into my driveway I saw that everyone was still here. Taking in a deep breath, I parked the truck and went back to the barn. Jayce was at the end of the barn with Rose brushing her horse. I walked up to everyone that was left in a circle, and took another deep breath.

"How long have you guys known?" I asked everybody, but it was Bella who answered.

"They were there shortly after she was born."

I looked up at my family, shocked. "You've known for five years and nobody thought to tell me?"

"Edward, I asked them not to. I was hurting because I love you, and at that time, when that girl answered your phone, I thought you moved on. I was letting you go. That girl made it seem like you were happy, and I didn't want you to hurt like I was. So I asked them not to tell you."

"Why now? Why have you decided to tell me now?" I asked, when I looked back up, I noticed it was only Bella and I there now.

"We were watching the roping events when she said she wanted to learn how to rope. I immediately thought of you, about how much you missed. And I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was bound and determined that even though you had someone else, your daughter still needed to know you."

"Bella, I understand that you tried to tell me about her, but why I don't understand is why you waited so long. I've waited for you for five years. Then you show up with not only my sister, but my daughter? This still hasn't sunk in yet. I hope we can get past this, but it's going to take a lot of hard work." When I heard a voice that wasn't Bella's I was shocked, I hadn't even seen or heard anyone walk up to me.

"Momma, that's my daddy isn't it?" I looked down at my daughter and she looked at me. Bella didn't even answer her, but I could hear her sniffling. "Are you my daddy?"