Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams
What Hurts The Most
Edward
I couldn't help but notice how beautiful Bella was in that dress, and I knew she had a fight to be able to wear her boots. The way her body was moving was making my body react to her. Bella had been avoiding me at all costs when Kate was around me, and tonight was no exception. I knew she didn't like Kate, but since she was my girlfriend, Kate went with me to a lot of places. I just wish her and Bella could get along so I didn't feel like I was getting pulled in two different directions.
"Edward, Bella, since you both had a good year team roping this year, I think you should have a celebratory dance!" Alice yelled over the loud music. I heard Bella groan, so I grabbed her hand and walked out to the dance floor. As I turned around to face her, I noticed Kate glaring at Bella, and just rolled my eyes. Careless Whisper started to play and it was a pretty damn good song. In some ways it fit the way Bella and I were, I liked her, but we couldn't be more then friends. As we started moving to the song, her body molded me to, she just felt perfect against my body. I looked down to see Bella resting her head on my shoulder and I had to tell her how beautiful she was.
"Bella, you are beautiful tonight. I hope you are having a good night?" I whispered near her ear so she could hear me. I felt her nod and stiffen a little bit. I was starting to wonder if I said something wrong, until I heard her sniffle. I felt moisture on my shirt but didn't do anything except hold on tighter. I had no idea why she would be crying. I didn't think I had done something wrong since we had started dancing. The song had just started the last line, when Bella pulled away from me and ran to Seth. I just stood there shocked and watched as they left.
Some new up beat song started by the time I came to my senses and walked back over to the group. I couldn't help but notice that Alice looked sad.
"Is Bella alright?" I said in a worried tone.
"Yes, she's fine. She just didn't feel good." Kate sneered. Ok really what's going on between those two? I nodded as Kate pulled me out onto the dance floor. The rest of the night was basically the same way, Kate pulling me out to dance with her. I think after Bella and Seth left, I spent maybe a whole time of ten minutes with my friends before we finally left. The next day I didn't see or hear from Bella. I thought that maybe she was just sick like she said last time. That was out of the question when I saw Bella at school, and she wouldn't even look at me.
Bella has been ignoring me for the last two weeks. I couldn't understand it and the more I thought about it, the more I got confused. We were doing good all summer, talking, hanging out, and then all of a sudden, she stops talking to me? Yep, here comes the headache again. But since her birthday party was this weekend, she couldn't avoid me there.
I decided to head to my room, along the way passing Rose's room, where I heard muffled talking.
"You just need to get over him." Rose said with what sounded like pity in her voice.
"I know its just harder then I thought, and I feel really bad. I mean I love him, but I really like Seth." Bella sobbed out. That was enough for me, I just kept walking. I wonder who she loves? Poor bastard, probably didn't know what he was missing out on if he didn't know she loved him. With that thought, I threw myself on my bed and drifted off to sleep.
I awoke the next morning to Emmett pounding on my door singing "Wake up! It's Bella's Birthday!" before opening my door. I opened my eyes just in time to move before he threw himself on my bed, jumping on it.
"Dude! What the fuck?" I yelled. Jasper was standing in the doorway leaning against the wall laughing at the scene in front of him. One look at Emmett's face and I busted up laughing, which caused him to stop jumping. Thank God!
After Jasper calmed down he told me what they wanted. "Your mom sent us up here to wake you up. We need to eat then go out to the barn to get stuff ready for Bella's party." I nodded as they left the room so I could get dressed. Walking downstairs I smelled my favorite breakfast: steak and eggs. Smelling this only made my step go a little bit faster. Walking into the kitchen, I heard a vehicle leaving. I looked at the guys confused.
"All the girls just left. Taking Bella shopping for the party tonight." Jasper said. Ahh explains why it's quiet in the house. After we had all finished eating, we went out to the barn and cleaned it up. Around five we all went back to the house to take a shower and get dressed for tonight. I decided on a pair of black wranglers, light blue George Straight long sleeve shirt and my boots. Jasper and Emmett dressed much the same way as I did. We all headed down stairs, hearing the girls laughing from Rose's room. We had about an hour before people started to show up for the party, so we were hanging out downstairs.
Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. I went to go answer it, to see Seth on the other side.
"Hey man. The girls aint ready yet, but come on in. We are just waiting for them."
"With the text messages I was getting from Bella today, it might be awhile. She kept complaining about them playing Bella Barbie." We had made it back into the kitchen and all busted up laughing at what Seth had said. Finally after thirty more minutes of waiting Rose and Alice walked down the stairs.
"Rose, Alice where's Bella?" Jasper asked a little shocked.
"Oh, just wait a minute. It'll be worth it to see the new Bella." Alice snickered. Just then Bella came down the stairs. I was looking at Seth and I could see lust, adoration and love in his eyes when it came to Bella. I looked away from him to look at Bella, and all I can say is... Seth is one hell of a lucky fucking man!
Bella
Every since I figured out that I was in love with Edward, it was hard to be around him. I had avoided him at all costs, unfortunately since my birthday party was at his house tomorrow I wouldn't be able to avoid him. I was sitting in Rose's room when I figured this out. I told them a couple days after the dance that I loved Edward and told them I would kick their asses if they told anyone. We were talking about Jasper and Emmett when a single tear slid down my face. Alice shuffled closer to me, bringing me into a hug, understanding why I was crying.
"You just need to get over him," Rose whispered.
"I know, it's just harder then I thought, and I feel really bad. I mean I love him, but I really like Seth." I whined out.
"Stop fucking whining Bella! Give Seth a chance!" Alice yelled at me. I finally gave up and just let them talk amongst themselves. I knew I needed to get over Edward and I really did like Seth. Maybe you should just forget Edward and be with Seth. Before we fell asleep, we decided to go shopping in the morning to get new outfits. Falling asleep that night, instead of Edward being the star of my dreams, it was Seth.
"Bella... Oh, Bella" Ok why is that damn pixie in my dream? Maybe if you just ignore her, she'll go away? "Bella, wake the hell up!" Damn! Didn't work!
"Go away Alice." I grumbled out. Just as I was drifting back into my dream with Seth kissing me, I heard her voice again.
"Bella, if you don't wake up, I'm going to have the guys pick you up, and throw you in the water tank outside!"
"Yeah, whatever, just leave me alone." I smiled to myself calling her bluff... or so I thought.
"Ok, you asked for it. Emmett! Edward! Jasper! Bella wants to take a trip to the horse tank!" Did she just do that? Really? O well, no one will listen to her. Oh, how wrong you are Swan!
"Alright, where is she? We haven't had someone visit the tank since Edward, it's about damn time!" You could almost feel the excitement roll off of him. With that excitement, I knew he wasn't joking, I knew he was going to pick me up and throw me in that fucking cold water tank.
"I'm up! I'm fucking up!" I screaming jumping off the air mattress. Of course, klutz Bella decided to say hello to everyone this shitty morning. My blankets caught around my leg while jumping out of bed, causing me to fall flat on my face. At least you landed on the air mattress!
Everyone in the room busted up laughing, all I could do was scowl at them as I got up and made my way to the bathroom. What a wonderful fucking way to start the day! Deciding that I wanted to do a quick ride before I left, I quickly threw on some jeans and a blue t-shirt. I was hoping to just sneak out of the house, yeah, no such luck.
"Bella! There you are, are you ready to go?" Alice chirped.
"Alice, I need to take care of my horses before I go anywhere." She nodded at me as I walked out the door. Since Sunny and Twister got along, I would be able to turn them in the pen outside. I went to Twister's stall first and said my hellos, putting his halter and lead rope on, walked him outside his stall and tied him up. Doing the same thing with Sunny only throwin' my rope around his neck and tying the other end to the halter, making reins for me. I grabbed a handful of mane and swung up on him, and nudged him forward. Stopping by Twister, I leaned forward and untied him, ponying him behind Sunny.
Once I got to the pen, jumped off and lead the two horses threw. I let Twister go, and he spun around and went running and bucking to the other end. I grabbed another handful of mane and swung back up on Sunny and asked him into a lope. I loved riding Sunny bareback, I could feel every muscle in his body move underneath me without the barrier of a saddle. I rode him around the pen for five minutes and finally felt calm enough to move forward with my day. I slid off Sunny and let him go, he followed me to the gate before I rubbed his nose. He just nickered to me, nudged me with his soft nose, then turned around and ran to Twister before joining him in eating.
I let out a huge sigh, and turned towards the house, which I now deemed hell just for today. Rose and Alice walked out of the house followed by Esme, which surprised me.
"Hope you don't mind dear?" Esme asked. She always has a motherly tone while talking talking to you.
"It's fine Esme, thank you for coming." I sat in the back seat of Esme's Mercedes with Alice. We spend the hour drive talking about anything and everything but mainly my party tonight. Once we pulled into the mall, Rose was pulling me out of the backseat and Alice was shoving me. Fuck, was the car even stopped yet? Esme just laughed as I got pulled in to the first store.
"Ok Bella, we are going to get you a new outfit for tonight." Alice was already fluttering around the store. Note to self: hide caffeine from the pixie! Within just a few minutes, I was getting shoved into a dressing room with at least twenty outfits. I tried on numerous halter tops, tank tops and t shirts. I finally found a black tank top that laced up the front.
I walked out of the dressing room to show Alice, I really hoped she liked it. "Bella, that looks great on you! You have to get it!" Finally, something we agree on.
"Alice I think I'm going to wear this top tonight!" I yelled over my shoulder on my back to the dressing room. "I also have a pair of jeans that will look good with it to."
"Bella, remember our talk last night? The one about Seth?" I heard Alice mumble through the door.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well... what do you say we blow Seth out of the water tonight?" Alice asked.
"Depends on what you have in mind?" I asked timidly. Next thing I know, a skirt is flying over the door.
"Heads up!"
"You know Alice, your suppose to say that before you throw something at someone!" I yelled while slipping my boots off. "Damn pixie trying to get me in a damn skirt." I mumbled to myself while taking my jeans off. I slid the skirt up my legs and buttoned and zipped them. I looked in the mirror and my jaw hit the floor. "Alice! There is no way in hell I'm going to wear this in public!" I yelled, still looking in the mirror. Skirt my ass, more like a mini mini skirt. It ended maybe two inches from my ass!
"Let me see." Alice said knocking on the door. I opened it to let her in and immediately closed it, with her almost still in it. She made me turn around and show her what little bit was there.
"Alice there is no way I am wearing this!"
"Bella, remember we are doing this for Seth."
"No, Alice, you said blow Seth out of the water, not give him a heart attack from a free peep show if I bend over!" I felt heat working it's way up to my face when I said that.
"Bella, you are wearing this skirt tonight with that black tank top, end of story!" She started to walk out of the dressing room, then turned to look at me, "But I will let you wear your boots tonight!" With that, she was gone. I grabbed the tank top and skirt mumbling to myself, then walked up to pay for them. I followed them around while they did there shopping, and decided to text Seth.
Seth-
Please help me!
-Bella
The girls came out of the store with three bags and headed to the next one, when my phone beeped at me.
Bella-
Help you with what babe?
-Seth
Babe? Seth called me babe! That helps with my mood a little bit.
Seth-
The shopping devil herself! The evil pixie made me go shopping!
Grr, just kidnap me?
-Bella
"Are you girls hungry yet? It's almost noon." Esme asked. We all said that we were hungry and we headed to the food court. I just ordered a slice of cheese pizza and a pepsi. Just as we were getting settled in my phone beeped.
Bella-
I wish I could kidnap you. But it can't be that bad.
-Seth
If Seth only knew how much I hated shopping, plus being drug around.
Seth-
It is that bad. I'm there damn Bella Barbie.
I can't wait until tonight though!
-Bella
We finished eating and decided that it was time to head home and get ready. We made it out to the car and put probably twenty bags in the trunk if not more and started to head home. I was going to get a quick nap in when my phone went off again.
Bella-
I'm sorry you have a play Bella Barbie.
I can't wait til tonight either.
I miss you, can't wait to see you!
-Seth
Seth missed me? I started thinking back to the day I met him. Since that day we talked or saw each other everyday during the summer. At school we share classes, and hang out. Every once in awhile, Seth would kiss my cheek or lead me down the hall way by my hand. Maybe, just maybe, Seth likes me back? Wow Bella, are we in second grade again? Are you going to pass him a note to check yes or no onto if he likes you? Could I see myself with Seth? Yeah, I could, and in fact, if he ever shows or tells me he wants to be more then friends, I'm gonna take it. Move aside Edward, here comes Seth!
The guys where still in the barn when we got home. We carried all the bags inside and when we got to Rose's room, I was sat in a chair and they started doing my hair. They had it curled and pinned up so half of it was flowing down my back, then started on my make-up. When they were finally done with me, they started to get ready and told me to get dressed. This time when I put the skirt on, I felt sexy not like a whore. Maybe it had to do with the point that I made my mind up on giving Seth a chance if he ever asked. I heard the guys talking down stairs then a knock on the door.
"Are you guys ready yet? Let's go!" I whined.
"Ok Bella, we are ready, but your going to wait up here a couple minutes after us to come down." Alice gave me a look as to not question or argue with her. So I just nodded as they left the room.
"Rose, Alice where's Bella?" Jasper asked a little shocked.
"Oh, just wait a minute. It'll be worth it to see the new Bella." Alice snickered. I took that as my cue to walk down the stairs. When I looked up, I saw Seth's eyes on me and I just kept looking at him. I was more then happy that my klutziness didn't decide to shows it's face today as Seth met me at the bottom of the stairs.
He leaned in by my ear and whispered, "I missed you today Bella, but it was more then worth the wait. You are beautiful." Then he gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. I felt the blush warm my face up as we walked out to the barn. The guys had cleaned it up and it looked good. There was music flowing throughout the barn, and the horses had been let outside so all the stalls where clean and you could smell the pine wood chips. People started showing up, and everyone started talking and dancing to the music. Seth hadn't left my side all evening, and after we danced to a slower song, he held onto my hand and led me outside by my trailer.
"Bella, I need to say something, please just listen to me before you say anything." Seth was nervous? This can't be good! I nodded at him to encourage him to continue. "Bella, I know you have feelings on the stronger side for Edward. It's easy to see by the way you look at him. But you also need to know, that I really like you and I would love it if you gave me a chance?" By the time he was finished talking, I had a huge grin on my face.
"What kind of chance Seth? Like a date, or for me to be your girlfriend?" I asked, just to make everything clear.
"Bella, will you be my girlfriend?" The whole time Seth asked me this, he wasn't looking at me, probably due to him being so nervous.
"Seth, I need to tell you something now, please listen. I'm not going to lie to you, I do have strong feelings for Edward, I also have feelings for you. I've liked you since the first time I danced with you at that rodeo. So, to answer your question, yes, I would like to be your girlfriend." I couldn't hold myself in place anymore, I flung myself at Seth, which he caught me easily and kissed him. When he pressed his lips to mine, I could feel a small fire start in my stomach. I started to move my lips against his, when he traced my bottom lip with his tongue, I granted him access and opened my mouth to him, letting our tongues start a dance. That little fire soon turned into a large fire in my stomach that moved it's way down between my legs. I whimpered when I heard someone coming, and pulled away from Seth.
"There you are Bella! It's time for your cake!" Alice yelled, and I moaned. Seth just laughed at me and took my hand leading me back to the barn.
Before we entered, he stopped us and placed a kiss at my temple and leaned in and whispered, "Bella, you have made me the happiest man here tonight," then grabbed my hand and led me back in. We had cake and danced some more before people started leaving. Throughout the night, Seth and I kept stealing kisses from each other and it just felt comfortable. Going back to school went much the same as it always did, except now I had a boyfriend.
It had been seven months since Seth and I had started dating and everything was going great. Seth and I decided to go for a ride since it was starting to warm up from the winter months. I rode with him out to the Cullen's and watched as he grabbed Twister, and starting to saddle him. I watched the muscles in his arms as the threw the saddle on the horses back and the muscles in his legs when he bent down to get the girth. I snapped myself out of it, and grabbed Sunny, quickly saddling him. We got on the horses and started to walk out of the barn. We rode in a comfortable silence for awhile.
"Bella, you know that since it's warming up, rodeo is going to start soon?" I nodded to Seth as he continued. "Well, I'm going to do the professional tour this year." I snapped my head over to him with large eyes.
"Seth, what are you saying? Where does that leave us?" I couldn't help but sound panicked, because I was.
"Bella, I would like for you to join me. You don't have to run or rope, but I would like you there with me. You don't have to answer me now, but please think about it."
"Ok Seth, I'll think about it. Thank you for considering for me to join you." I leaned over towards Twister and gave Seth a kiss. We headed back to the barn and did chores, before Seth dropped me off at home. That night I thought about what Seth had said earlier during our ride. I decided that I would follow Seth anywhere and that I couldn't see myself without him. I could be myself around him and not have to worry about how to act. I had only met his parents and his sister a couple times. Harry, his father, and Sue, his mother, were both really nice people. Leah, his sister, was older then us, but she seemed really nice as well. They were all welcoming of me and approved of Seth's and mine's relationship. I loved everything about Seth, hell if I was being honest, I loved Seth. With my decision made, I got online and applied for my card, because whether I compete this summer or not, my horses are coming with me.
Before I knew it, it was graduation day. The day I had spent twelve years of my life to get to. Seth was picking me up in about twenty minutes, and Charlie had already told me about a hundred times that he was proud of me and would meet me at the school. The Cullen's were throwing us a party tonight, unfortunately, I would have to go without Seth since his family was going to do a good-bye dinner. We were leaving tomorrow to start our travel for the rodeo. Seth was excited that I had decided to go with him, Charlie on the other hand wasn't. He was unsure of me traveling the summer with Seth and his two friends Embry and Quil. After a hour of arguing, I finally just told him that I was still a virgin and was going to be until the day I got married. That shut him up real fast and he didn't say another word about it.
A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I opened it to see my hot boyfriend.
"Hey baby, you ready to go?" He asked and I nodded. The ride to school was filled with talk about tomorrow. We both couldn't wait to leave, even though I would miss my other friends. Once we got to the school, I was sad that all my friends would be standing at the front of the line, including Seth. I was able to get in a quick hello to everyone, and a kiss to Seth before we were told to line up.
I sat through the graduation ceremony, listening to students give their speeches, and teachers do their talk before finally they started calling our names. When my friends names were called, I yelled for them, and they did the same for me when I was called. Before I knew it the hard work from the last twelve years was a piece of paper in my hands. Families rushed towards each other, and I found Seth quickly. More like he found me, and when he did, he picked me up and kissed me while spinning us in a circle. By the time the kiss ended his family was to him and we said quick good byes.
Rose and Alice found me and we walked out to their car and left to head to the farm. When we got there, the guys already had music going and hanging out. We jumped out and went over to them, grabbing something to drink along the way. We were hanging out for four hours and it finally sank in how much I was going to miss these people around me. I figured now was a good time to tell everyone that I would be doing the pro tour this year and I was leaving tomorrow, I knew they would all he happy for me. They will be right? They won't be mad I waited until last minute to tell them I was leaving.
"Hey guys, I got some good news to tell you!" They all looked at me so I continued, "Well as you know Seth is going to do professional rodeo this year." They all nodded. "Well I decided I would join him." It was quiet for a couple of minutes before Edward was the first to speak.
"That's great Bella, I'll give you our schedule of rodeos and you can work around it." He smiled at me. What is he talking about?
"Um, Edward, I will be competing pro this year." I shrugged it off.
"That's great Bella, so exciting!" Alice yelled.
"Congratulations." Rose, Emmett, and Jasper said.
"Wait, you can't compete pro, were roping this year." Edward was getting angry.
"No, I'm not team roping this year, and yes I am competing pro." I stated calmly. Everyone kept looking between Edward and I.
"Bella, your crazy, you can stop playing your joke now. We all know that your staying here this summer."
"Edward, I'm not playing a joke." I said trying to stay calm.
"Bella, what the fuck! We were suppose to rope together!" Edward was yelling now, and that broke my calm streak.
"No we weren't you never asked me!"
"Were roping partners! I shouldn't have to ask you!"
"And if you would have actually opened your fucking eyes this past nine months, you would have seen that I was staying away from you."
"Why is that Bella? Why were you staying away from me? Because I really don't have a fucking clue!" I was so pissed, I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes.
"That's right you wouldn't because you can't see what's right in fucking front of you!" He looked at me confused, some of his temper leaving his body. "If you would have seen anything, you would have known that non of us like Kate, and you would have also fucking realized that I have loved you the last almost fucking year!" I screamed at basically as loud as I could. I heard Rose and Alice gasp, then I realized what I just said. I guess when I'm pissed, the filter between my brain and mouth, decides to shut off. Everyone was staring at me with wide eyes, including Edward. Run Swan, run now before you make a bigger ass of yourself! Since my truck was still here from this morning doing chores, I started to run towards it. I heard everyone yelling my name but I couldn't nor wouldn't stop to listen to them. I jumped in my truck and headed to the only place I felt safe now; Seth.
I cried the whole way to La Push. As soon as I got there, I headed straight for Seth's farm, found a place to park and ran to the house. I knocked a couple times before someone answered.
"I'm sorry Sue, but can I please talk to Seth?" I said between hiccups.
"Of course Bella, please come in. Seth!" She yelled. Seth came around the corner and saw me. He rushed to me with open arms and pulled me to his bedroom. He pulled us on the bed and just held me for what felt like forever but could have only been a few short minutes.
"Bella, what's wrong baby?" He asked in a quiet voice.
"I told everyone tonight that I was leaving with you for the rodeo. I didn't get to tell them when, before Edward and I got in a fight." I sobbed out.
"What was said during this fight?" Just that one question sobered me up.
"Seth, I'm not going to lie to you. I told Edward that he was blind because he couldn't tell that I loved him." I looked up to see a sad looking Seth with his head hung down, not looking at me. "Seth, I love Edward, but that love, it doesn't even begin to compare to the love I have for you." He thought about that for a minute before looking at me.
"Bella, I love you. I never want to lose you."
"You won't. I love you more then anything." Seth held me for about an hour before his phone went off. He opened his phone and got a huge grin on his face, then looked at me.
"Bella, what do you say we leave right now instead of tomorrow?" I smiled and leaned up and kissed him.
"I say, my stuff is in my truck, let's get Embry, Quil and my horses and let's get the hell out of Forks." He leaned down and kissed me again before pulling us of the bed.
"That's why I love you."
"I love you to." I said walking out of the door. We said good bye to his parents, and left to pick up Quil and Embry. After we picked them up we headed to the Cullen's. Since it was almost four in the morning, everyone was asleep.
"Seth, hook my trailer up and I'll go get my horses. Please be quiet, I don't want anyone to know we are here. Embry, Quil, here's the key to the trailer, put all our stuff in there and make sure you lock it back up." I said jumped out of the truck. I ran to the outside pen where my horses were. Since they had been outside, their stalls were clean. I put a halter on Sunny first then Twister and led them out of the pen. After I closed the gate, I turned around running back to the trailer, causing the horses to trot after me. Once they were loaded up, we headed back to Forks and stopped by my house. Charlie was already up getting ready for work, we told him buy and he told us to drive careful, good luck and keep in touch. We left the house and made a quick stop to get something to eat, agreeing on stopping later in the day at a grocery store to stock the trailer up. I debated on sending a text to Alice and Rose before finally doing it.
Rose and Alice-
I'm sorry last night turned out the way it did.
By the time you get this I will be out of the state of Wa.
Please forgive me.
-Love Bella
With that being said, I laid down on the seat, put my head in Seth's lap, and I was leaving behind Forks Washington, and along with it, Edward Cullen.
Edward
Bella said she loved me, then walked out. I couldn't find my voice while she was yelling at me. I couldn't find it while everyone looked at me, but I found it when I started calling after her and walked out of the barn just to see her tail lights down the driveway. We all just stood there, not saying anything because we were all shocked. Bella loved me. I said good night to everyone and headed to my bedroom. I threw myself on the bed, and thought I'd let Bella calm down and I would talk to her in the morning.
I woke up the next morning and went to the barn. I went straight to the office and turned on the radio before I started feeding horses. A song by Rascal Flats came on, it was a pretty sad song.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
I walked down to where she was, and saw the stall empty. I looked at Rose who was still crying. I heard screaming and looked up to see Alice come running in and stop by Rose, before they hugged each other.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
"Why are you two crying? Sunny's outside, he didn't die." I told them trying to hold in the laughter they just glared at me.
"Bella's gone." Rose whispered. I didn't think that's what she said but I wasn't sure.
"What? Bella aint gone." I asked.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
"She's fucking gone Edward! And it's all because you didn't get your head out of your fucking ass!" Alice screamed at me before her and Rose walked out.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
If felt like I was punched in the gut, and I couldn't get any air to my lungs. I knew with that feeling, what they were saying was true. Bella was gone, she walked away. Bella walked away from me. Bella left me. Now that you've figured out she's gone, why does it bother you?
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh...
I loved Bella, and she just walked out of my life, and took my heart with her.
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