Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams
Bring It On
Bella
I was shocked with the words that tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Alice, I think I have feelings for Edward."
Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish you could go back in time and erase what you just said? Oh yea, I'm totally in that damn moment! Alice started to squeal so loudly, my damn ears felt like they where going to start to bleed at any freakin' moment.
"You what? Wow! This is so exciting!" Alice yelled out. "But why do you have feelings for him? I mean he can be a total ass sometimes?"
"Yeah, he can be. But I also know he hasn't always been like that. He was sweet when he was little, and when we went for a ride this morning, he dropped the walls." I sighed. How in the hell could my little crush become something more?
"Well what happened between you and Jake?" Rose finally spoke up for the first time since this conversation had started.
"O God, I don't want to talk about him, but I ended it, end of story with Jake."
"Well now you just have to find the right time to approach Edward!" Alice squealed. The rest of the drive home was fairly quiet. I thought about what Alice had said about approaching Edward, could I really do that? When I'm around him I feel different, like we are the only two people in the world. Time and everything around use don't exist, to bad it can't stay like that at all times. The drive was long, with Alice and Rose falling asleep. By the time we got back to the farm, I could barely stay awake. We unloaded horses, did chores, unhooked the trailer from my truck and I headed home.
Walking up the stairs to my room, all I could think about Edward. When I closed my eyes, I saw his emerald green eyes looking back at me. After two hours of trying to sleep, I got up and took a shower and then headed to the farm. When I got there, I put Sunny in one of the turn out pens then cleaned his stall. Half way through cleaning his stall, I heard someone come into the barn.
"Hey Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute?" I think I ended up jumping I swear five feet in the damn air! I nodded and followed him into the barn office. I didn't know what he wanted to talk about so I was a little nervous and didn't know what to think. "Bella, since Jake can't rope for the rest of this season, I was wondering if you would be interested?" Just memory of how Jake and I ended things make me wince and a chill go down my spine.
I thought about it, I did enjoy ropin' with Edward, and I would get closer to him. Maybe what Alice said was true, I needed to approach him and this was my chance. Only one problem, you don't have a roping horse. "Well, I would, but I don't have the time to try to find a roping horse to buy." Edward looked like he was thinking hard about something, then turned into a smile.
"Bella, what do you think of Twister?"
"He's an awesome horse, easy to handle, smart, and knows how to do his job." I smiled remembering riding Twister yesterday.
"What would you say to buying him?" At first I was shocked he would consider selling his horse. I was about to say there was no way that I could buy him when Edward spoke up. "Bella, he's m back up horse, one that I barely use. He needs someone who is going to use him all the time, and someone to take care of him." I thought hard about it, and how Twister would be the horse to take me somewhere if I were to decide to make a career out of roping. I nodded and agreed that I would buy him. I went to my truck and grabbed my purse, and went back into the office. A new horse, new paper work to transfer Twister into my name, left me $3,500 more broke, thank God for all the money I won last year. "Bella, congratulations on your new purchase!"
Since I had a roping horse, I had been practicing team roping, break away roping, plus barrel racing with Sunny and days had been flying by. One day I was heading into the arena to practice and had to meet Kate first hand and all I can say is bitch. I felt kind of embarrassed for interrupting them, they seemed to be having a heated conversation, o well.
It had been a couple of weeks since I had to meet Kate. We were riding in the outdoor arena since it was a rare nice day. I had just loosened my slack on a steer when I saw Alice and Rose walking up the arena.
"Hey guys, what would you say to going on a trail ride?" Alice winked at me before walking over to Jasper. What are you up to you little pixie? I was to excited to think to much into it.
"That sounds like fun. All we've been doing is practicing all the time!" I yelled.
Alice started to get on Jasper's horse while spitting out, "Well since you guys are already saddled, Rose can ride double with Emmett, and I can ride double with Jasper!" Just leaving the arena, I started to relax. It had been a long time since I had gone for a ride, just because, without practice. Once we got on the trail, we all started laughing and having fun. We all seemed to relax and just enjoy this ride, it seemed like everyone just needed this ride to relax. We started to head back to the barn and were probably way back, when I felt Twister tense up. After I felt that, I knew this wasn't going to end good. A deer, yes a fucking deer, ran out of the damn trees and spooked Twister. He immediately started to buck and I heard people yelling for me hang on. This horse could fuckin' buck like no other horse I had been on, but I stayed with him, until the jackass decided to jump sideways and I lost my balance.
Flying threw the air never hurts, it's always the fucking ground deciding to say hello that does. "Fucking song of a bitch!" I was pissed, I can't even remember the last time I had got thrown from a damn horse! And worse yet, I got thrown from my horse in front of my fucking friends, and now since my damn horse ran back towards the barn, I had to fucking walk back with a sore ass! I pulled my sore ass up off the ground and starting walking back to the barn. Ok maybe walking isn't the word for it, I could feel my anger in my feet, so I was probably stomping.
"Bella, where are you going?" I looked around to see Edward, and my anger flared up again. Just looking at him and everyone else reminded me that I had been thrown in front of my friends.
"Back to the fucking bard, to get my fucking horse! Is that ok with you!" I yelled, and I instantly felt bad for yelling at Edward since he didn't do anything to me. He rode up next to me on Jack and shocked the shit out of me when he said, "Get on with me, we can ride double back." I started thinking about it, it would save my sore ass walking that far. Then Alice's voice came into my head, well now you just have to find the right time to approach Edward. I looked at Alice, and she must have been thinking the same thing I was as she nodded at me. Edward took his foot out of the stirrup, and I swung myself behind him and the saddle.
We had been walkin' for a little bit when my back started hurting, so I put my hands around Edward's waist and leaned forward, and couldn't help the groan that escaped my mouth from the muscles pulling in my back.
"Bella, are you ok?" Edward whispered in my ear.
"Yeah, I just haven't gotten thrown in a long time. Takes a bit of a hit on my ego and body." I groaned because I can't believe I just freakin' said that. Leaning against Edward like this made me think of the first time I had ever rode a horse. This reminds me of the old days.
"I guess I didn't do a very good job did I?" I leaned back a little confused. Was I in my own world long enough to miss a conversation between everyone? "As I recall I made you a promise?" I started searching my brain, what the hell did Edward promise me? "Don't worry Bella, I won't let anything happen to you." Then every thing clicked into place, I wasn't the only one to remember that first time we rode together.
"You remember?" Edward nodded and I figured now was as good as time as any. "Well since you remember, I guess now is the time to tell you thank you." Edward let that sink in but still had a confused looked on his face. Ha now it's your turn to be confused! "That was the first time I had ever been on a horse, it was also the time that I decided that whatever I was going to do with my life, it had to involve horses."
Edward was shocked and managed to choke out, "Oh, well, I guess your welcome." We stayed quiet the rest of the ride back, and I couldn't help but relax around Edward. Maybe now that I got out in the open that he was the reason I was into horses, that maybe it was time to move forward and start to hint towards my feelings towards him and see where that leads us. I could only hope that maybe since we had been hanging out a lot more due to roping, that maybe he started to like me to.
I saw the barn start to come into view, then when we got into the driveway I saw a car I hadn't seen before there. I looked at everyone else and saw they had a weird look on their faces and were all looking at Edward. And then I saw the bitch and knew who belonged to that fucking car. Kate was walking out of the barn with my horse and I got pissed. What the fuck is she doing here?
"There you are Edward! I saw your horse standing by a stall and got worried when I couldn't find you." Wow, just her voice was getting on my nerves, but her touching my horse was really pissing me off. Kate stopped walking once she got close to Edward, and I wanted to be anywhere but where I fucking was at this moment, so I swung off of Jack. I didn't want her touching my horse or being around me.
"That is actually my horse, we were trail riding; he got spooked and I got thrown. Thank you for catching him for me." What I really wanted to say was, why the fuck are you here and why don't you just crawl back under the fucking rock you came out from. I grabbed my horse and started to turn away, when she decided she wanted to talk... again.
"No problem Isabella, maybe you should keep to riding in the arena until you get a little better at riding so you can stay on your own horse." I couldn't believe this bitch! She thought I made my horse throw me, just so I could ride with Edward. I turned to walk back into the barn where Emmett and Jasper where unsaddling their horses. Why was she being such a bitch when it came to Edward. I mean damn, I know she's liked him for a long time, but it's not like their together... wait, could they be!
"Guys, do you think that Kate and Edward are together?" I asking in a panicky tone, because shit, if they were together, then I wouldn't be able to even have a fucking chance with him!
Alice looked just as panicked as I sounded. Before she could answer Edward and the bitch walked in together. I tried to ignore Edward unsaddling his horse behind me, because I really didn't want to hear anything that bitch had to say.
"I thought I would be the first to yell you! I bought a new barrel racing horse!"
I turned around and looked at Edward with a worry face, Alice must have seen it because she mumbled, "Don't worry Bella, even on her best day she couldn't beat you." Since Alice knew Kate better then I did, with her saying that to me, I turned just a little smug. Kate finally looked at me and my little smug became a lot smug. Kate moved in front of Edward and put her arms around Edward neck and gave him a kiss. I looked at Alice, I guess we both just had our answer onto if there together or not.
"Now that I have a new ho rse, I can start knocking people back to the ground where they belong and take my winning spot back at rodeos."
I couldn't help the snort that came from me. I turned to look at Alice, who had the same look on my face and probably thinking the same thing I was about what she said earlier. Just that one look, and we busted up laughing, soon Alice was doubled over. Kate turned to look at me like we were fucking crazy. Hmm maybe we were, might have to look into that at a later date. I was laughing so hard I could barely spit out, "Shit! Sorry Kate...that was the best...fucking joke I have heard...all week!" My sides where starting to ache from laughing so hard.
"Bella, dear, your new to this barrel racing things, so I'll let that one slip." With that one statement from the bitch sobered me right up. I couldn't believe this, who the fuck did she think she was. I could feel the anger building up all over again.
"Kate, that's enough." Edward warned, you could tell he was trying to keep this situation under control. Rose and Alice had grabbed my arms trying to keep me in place, which was probably a good idea. I wanted nothing more then to slap the smugness off that bitch's face.
"For one, I am not new to barrel racing. I have been doing it for over ten fucking years. For two, I don't need you to let anything slip on my part. I guess it's you being the "best" against me who is the best." I grabbed Twister, put him in his stall, then walked out of the barn. I tried to calm down, but before I could walk very far Rose and Alice had caught up with me. "What the fuck is her problem!" I yelled to nobody in particular.
"She's worried that your going give her the ass beating she needs in barrel racing!" Rose yelled.
We got in my truck to head into town. When I stared the truck, the CD came to life and started to play a song.
I was born on the wrong side of the tracks
And all my life I've had to kick and fight
When the world comes after me
I aint one to start a fight
But I'll stand up for what's right
This sleepin dog, he'll bite
If you wanna mess with me
I got a huge smile on my face and said, "Well if that bitch thinks that I'm just going to lay down, and not do anything about it, she's wrong. She can fucking bring it on!" Alice and Rose got where I got that from and started singing the song with me.
Bring it on, hell I aint scared
I've been beat up, beat down
Walked on, pushed around
But I'm still standin here
Bring it on, see what you got
If you think you want a piece of me
Then give it your best shot
Just bring it on
Yeah bring it on
Mama said it don't make you weak
If you turn the other cheek
But I'll be damned if I'll be whooped on anymore
Like a snake better let me be
Oh no don't tread on me
If you mess with this boy
Well, you just might get the horn
Bring it on, hell I aint scared
I've been beat up, beat down
Walked on, pushed around
But I'm still standin here
Bring it on, see what you got
If you think you want a piece of me
Then give it your best shot
Just bring it on
I've been knocked down once or twice
Got right back up again
When this world tries to get me down
I'll punch it right on the chin and say
Bring it on, hell I aint scared
I've been beat up, beat down
Walked on, pushed around
But I'm still standin here
Bring it on, see what you got
If you think you want a piece of me
Then give it your best shot
Just bring it on
Walking into the room with all these girls dressed up, I really felt out of place. They all looked beautiful and they knew what they were doing. I stumbled my way threw the whole day, after what seemed like years, we were finally on our way back to the trailer. We saw the guys where pulled up next to us and gave them a quick greeting before entering my trailer to change. I was so happy to be back in my regular clothes. I got my horses saddled and ready to go when I saw Kate walking over to the trailers. I rolled my eyes and led my horses to the arena, I didn't see Edward until we were about to enter the arena.
Being around Edward since I knew he was dating Kate, was awkward and really sucked. I still had feelings for him and they just seemed to keep getting deeper. We made it through the rodeo, and after barrel racing I couldn't help but rub it in Kate's face a little bit that I beat her. Since we all agreed earlier to go to the street dance, the guys headed down there with us telling them we would meet them down there.
"Come on guys! I can't wear this shirt!" The shirt was a silver halter top with the "v" plunging down below my breasts. It was sexy as hell, but I couldn't see myself in it.
"Bella, come on! You need to find a guy and this shirt will give you the confidence you need!" Alice yelled at me. I finally gave in, wearing the silver halter top with my worn in jeans and cowboy boots. Alice decided to wear a blank tank top with a jean skirt and knee high heel boots, Rose wore a white corset with brown trim, jeans and cowboy boots. Looking in the mirror, I did have to admit, we were fucking hot. We walked down to the street dance, getting many glances from guys. Rose sent Emmett a text letting him know we were here. Walking through the dance entrance, I saw Edward and Kate, and I got a feeling I had never felt before. I saw her all over him and I started to think that I should be the one doing that, not that bitch. I didn't like this feeling and didn't know what it was or what to do with it.
We walked out to the dance floor and started dancing. Emmett and Jasper joined us and we were having a good time. Then it hit me like a fucking truck ran me over, I was was jealous over Kate and Edward. I wanted to be in Kate's place but I couldn't be. I didn't like this feeling, but I knew I could do something about it. I felt someone start dancing behind me and turned around, ready to punch someone, but when I did, I found myself looking into beautiful sky blue eyes.
"Hi, I'm Seth, I noticed you were alone and was wonderin' if ya wanted to dance?" All I could do was nod and I think I mumbled my name. The rest of the night went like that, I danced with Seth and started talking. I found out that he was going to be going to the same school I was, but lived in La Push. He was a senior like all of us, and did rough stock riding, but mainly bull riding. When we left to head home, Seth and I exchanged phone numbers and promises of getting together.
Before I knew it, the summer was over and I would be starting school at Forks High School tomorrow. Seth and I had gotten close over the summer, but I also fell for Edward more. We all ended up sitting pretty good by the end of rodeo season, and I ended up beating Kate in standings.
I met everyone at school and it was probably the most boring day of my life. In fact the next three weeks where like that: boring. Friday after school, I was walking out of school, when Alice game jogging up to me.
"Bella! Let's go, were going dress shopping!" Alice squealed.
"Dress shopping for what?" I asked confused.
"Do you not pay attention to what goes on at school?" I laughed and shook my head no. "Bella, what are we going to do with you? Homecoming is next week!"
"Um, I wasn't planning on going, I don't have a date."
"Oh, your going!" She grabbed my arm and started dragging me to my truck. "Oh yeah! Your suppose to talk to Seth before we leave." I nodded at her, threw my keys to her and headed towards Seth's truck. I didn't know what to think about the dance, and I wasn't planning on buying a damn dress for it. I looked up and saw Seth walking towards me.
"Hey Seth, Alice said you wanted to talk to me?" Seth nodded and seemed a little nervous.
"Yeah, well, I was wonderin' if you wanted to go to the homecoming dance with me?" He stuttered out, he was cute when he was nervous. Now I knew why Alice wanted me to talk to Seth before we left.
"Yeah, that would be awesome." I gave Seth a hug and we said our goodbyes. I jogged back to my truck and I could already hear Alice squealing and Rose telling her to shut up. When we got to the store they started grabbing dresses right away and within what seemed like two minutes their arms were full and I was getting shoved into a dressing room. I bet I tried on over twenty dresses before I found one that I wanted.
It was a beautiful brown with sequence around the bottom and bust area. I had a perfect brown cross necklace to go with it along with some earrings. The dress was perfect. "Alice this is the one!" I shouted.
"Ok Bella, I agree. Now we just have to find you some high heels."
"Oh hell no! I will not wear heels. I have boots that will match this dress."
"Bella, you can not wear boots with a dress to homecoming." Alice whined.
"Then I'm not going." I smirked at the evil little pixie. She finally gave in and agreed. We spent another hour finding them dresses. Alice found a blue halter dress and matched it with clear high heel shoes and a matching earring neckless set that had a flower then a tear drop. Rose picked a darker blue dress that had sequence all over it with ruffles at the bottom and matched it with clear high heels and a single diamond neckless.
After making it home from shopping, I relaxed in my room. I still couldn't believe I was going to a dance with Seth. I mean yeah we've met up at rodeo dances and had danced before, but this one seemed different. The week went by in a flash and before I knew it, I was at Rose's house getting ready for homecoming. Alice was doing my make up while Rose was doing my hair. I was getting bored and started looking around the room, and then I realized this was the first time I had been in Rose's house. She had a queen size bed with a western star bed set, next to the bed she had a night table, and on the walls where framed pictures of the past years. I saw one picture that really caught my eye, it was of all six of us riding in the arena and you could see the dust flying around us. Alice and Rose finished getting ready and we were heading down the stairs when I saw Seth, and felt all the air leave my lungs. He was in a pair of black wranglers with a white pearl snap long sleeve shirt and boots.
We took pictures and headed to the school. Edward and Kate took her car, Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper took his truck, while I rode with Seth.
As Seth was opening my door he turned and looked at me, "Bella, you are always beautiful, but tonight I have no words that could even come close to how you look." I blushed as he helped me in the truck. We spend the ride to the school making short talk. Seth told me that next summer he was going to travel for pro rodeo and asked what I was going to do.
"I'm not really sure Seth, I guess I just have to see how this year goes." We made it to the school then, and Seth parked and helped me out. We all started dancing as soon as we had made it inside. Kate kept glaring at me all night but I figured I wasn't going to let her ruin my night. I was with all my friends, having a good time, and she just wasn't worth it. We were standing in a group when Alice got all excited and said, "Edward, Bella, since you both had a good year team roping this year I think you should have a celebratory dance!" I just groaned as Edward grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor, Kate glaring holes into my back I'm sure. They started a new song that I recognized and enjoyed listening to, it was Careless Whisper by Seether.
I feel so unsure,
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.
As the music dies...
Something in your eyes,
Calls to mind a silver screen,
And all those sad goodbyes
I'm never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Though it's easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.
I should have no better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that I'd been given.
So I'm never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.
What am I without your love?
Tonite the music seems so loud,
I wish that we could lose the crowd.
Maybe it's better this way,
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say.
I didn't realize that I had started to cry until I felt moisture running between my breasts. I had no clue why I was crying but my body did.
We could have been so good together,
We could have made this last forever...
But now, who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay.
And now it's never gonna be
That way...
Now that you're gone...
Now that you're gone...
Now that you're gone...
Was what I did so wrong?
So wrong that you had to leave me alone?
I just realized exactly how I felt about Edward by the time the song had ended. I couldn't take it anymore and left Edward on the dance floor and ran to Seth, telling him that I didn't feel good and wanted to leave. We said good night to everyone and walked out to the truck. I couldn't believe I had let myself get this far and not realize it. Everything that was once simple, had just grown to be the hardest thing I think I had ever go through. Once Seth dropped me off, I ran to my room and threw myself on my bed and let all my tears flow freely.
I could no longer lie to myself about what I felt for Edward. I, Isabella Swan, was madly in love with Edward Cullen, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
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