Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams
Just A Dream
Bella
Since I came home from the professional tour, everything has been great. Edward and I started roping again, and seemed like it was back to how it was before everything blew up in my face. The only thing different was, it seemed like Edward was touching me more or helping me out more. He would saddle Twister for me or would stand closer then normal. At first, I was unsure what to think, then I just brushed it off as Edward being friendly.
It was the beginning of February, so still pretty cold. I was walking to the door to put my coat on to do chores then head to Edward's to practice when my phone went off. I looked at the caller ID and couldn't help but smile.
"Well hello Miss Jami. What do I owe this surprise?" I asked.
"Hmm, let me think. How about you move your ass out here to Nebraska?" She said cheerful.
"Jami, did you take a crazy pill this morning? Because I'm pretty sure you lost your marbles." I laughed out.
"No, I did that yesterday on one of our trainers." She laughed and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Jami and the trainers didn't always see eye to eye. "But the reason I'm calling is because you barrel race."
"Um, ok?" I asked confused.
"Bella, besides calling to talk to one of my best friends, I'm calling about a job offer." She stated seriously.
"I'm still lost?"
"Our barrel racing trainer is leaving us the end of this year. I'm offering you the job. I know you need to talk to Seth about it before you give me an answer. You would have an apartment here on the farm. Please just think about it." She begged.
"I'll let you know by the end of the day." I told her. We said our goodbyes and I closed my phone. I sat there at the kitchen table just thinking for a while. This could change everything, it's something I wanted to do eventually. I've always enjoyed helping people with their horses, even more so when it came to barrel racing. I didn't hear Seth walk into the kitchen until he placed his hand on my shoulder. I jumped a little bit then looked at him. He had a confused look on this face.
"Bella, is everything alright?"
"Seth we need to talk." He nodded and sat across from me at the table. "Jami just called me. She uh... well... her barrel racing trainer is leaving her the end of this year." He nodded for me to continue. "She um... she offered me the job?" I couldn't help that it came out as a question. Seth looked at me shocked for a little while before a smile spread across his face.
"Bella, this is a great opportunity for you!" Seth yelled while getting out of his chair and grabbing me into a hug.
"I know it is, but how will this affect us?"
"Bella, I love you. We will work through this. Hell, we could move to Nebraska and if you ever got bored we could keep the farm and just move back. If this is what you want, call Jami and tell her you'll take the job." Seth kissed my temple before going to the bedroom to get dressed. I quickly called Jami and told her that I would love to take the job. She told me I would start in September shortly after my birthday. We said quick goodbyes with promises of calling each other soon.
I yelled up to Seth that I was leaving while walking out the door to do chores. After I fed Sunny, I got in the truck and headed to Edward's. I was nervous that he would think I was just leaving him again. During the entire practice, all I could think about was Edward was going to get mad at me. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, and I kept missing my loops. I was slowly driving myself crazy. Edward said we were done with practice and left the arena, me following after him. When I was just about to take my saddle off Twister, a thought crossed my mind, what if I leave and nothing works out. If I lose my friends here and have nothing to come back to.
"Bella, this summer will be fine. We can work it out to where when we don't have a rodeo, you can travel with Seth." Edward said.
"What? Oh, I wasn't worried about that. Seth and I already had it figured out to do what you just said." I said nervously.
"Ok, then what's wrong?"
Well here goes nothing. "Well, last summer I became friends with a girl named Jami Jensen. She's from Nebraska and her family owns a rodeo horse training barn." He nodded at me to continue. "Well, their barrel racing trainer is going to be retiring the end of this summer, and she offered me job. I accepted it, please don't be mad at me, we can still rope this summer." Edward looked like he was thinking about something for a moment. He walked up to me and put his lips to mine. At first I was shocked, didn't move, didn't do anything. He put his hands on my waist and then I finally moved. I started to move my lips against his, my hands worked their way up his forearm, to his biceps, to his shoulders, before they finally ended in his hair. He licked my bottom lip with his tongue, wanting to have access to my mouth, which I gladly gave him. My tongue started to move against Edward's while he explored the inside of my mouth. made me feel in heaven.
The way Edward's mouth moved with my was like heaven. I couldn't help it when I tugged on his hair a little big causing him to moan. When I started to gasp for air, I pulled away from him, when everything that just happened flashed through my mind. I just kissed someone that wasn't my fiance. What is Seth going to say? SHIT! I hurriedly grabbed Twister, put him in his stall, before running to my truck to leave.
When I got home, Seth wasn't there, so that left me and my mind alone. I went for a ride on Sunny hoping to clear my mind, and it didn't seem to do a damn thing. I got in the shower and went to bed. When I awoke the next morning, I had more questions then I did answers. Why did Edward kiss me? Why did he decide to kiss me now? He was just happy for you, your just friends. Get over it.
Seth left early this morning to travel and after the rodeo tonight, I was going to drive out to Cheyenne and meet up with the guys. I pulled myself out of bed, brushed my teeth and hair, and got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Before leaving the room, I grabbed another pair of jeans and one of my long sleeve shirts I use for rodeo. Heading out of the house, I put the clothes in my truck and hooked up my trailer, then loaded Sunny. Edward and I decided to do a quick practice before we left, so I headed over to his house.
Once I pulled in, I grabbed Sunny's hay bag and tied to the side of the trailer, then unloaded him so he could eat while we practiced. Walking into the barn, I got a little nervous once I saw Edward. When he kissed me yesterday, I was in heaven. But I couldn't help but think about why he did it. I saddled up Twister and noticed Edward kept looking at me. When I finally looked him in the eyes, I was confused, because I didn't know where this left us. Then I was sad, because there could never be an us. It would be Edward and Bella and Seth, never a Bella and Edward.
"Bella, I'm sorry about yesterday. I crossed the line, I was just so happy for you." Edward broke the silence. I was heartbroken because I knew this was why he did it, but it just hurt more hearing him say it out loud.
"It's OK Edward, I know you were happy for me. Can we just forget about it?"
"Yeah, OK, let's practice Bella." He said as he grabbed my horse and started to walk in the arena.
I tried not to focus on that kiss, but it was hard. Once we finished with our quick practice, we loaded the horses and headed towards Walla Walla. The eight hour drive was quiet for the most part, with us just listening to the radio. Once we got there, we made our way to the office to check in and pay our dues. When we got back to the trailer, we unloaded the horses and started to saddle them. I saddled Twister first, then just as I finished saddling Sunny, I heard a voice I never wanted to hear again.
"Edward, your roping this year? I thought everyone left for college?" Kate asked.
"Yes I'm roping this year." Edward stated.
"Please tell me your not roping with Bella. She's so worthless in the arena. Shouldn't even own horses." She sneered. I thought that she learned her damn lesson the last time we competed against each other. I will not stand for her to trash talk me, let's just say I was pissed when I walked around my trailer.
"Yes, I am roping with Bella again this year." Edward said.
"Pathetic." That was all it took for me to open my mouth.
"Kate, as I recall, I beat your ass the last time I raced against you." Kate just glared at me before walking towards Jacob and giving him a kiss.
"What the fuck?" I almost screamed. "Is she with fucking Jacob?" Edward just nodded at me. I was pissed.I tied Twister and started to warm Sunny up for barrels. Kate was just leaving the arena when we got there, with a time of 18.23 seconds.
"I bet you can't beat that time with that old horse of yours Bella." Kate sneered. I just looked at her, thinking that not only have I beaten her time, but she was also with my ex boyfriend.
I knew Sunny could handle the ground in this arena, and he knew what he was doing, so I just nudged him letting him know it was time to go, and just hung on. I left the arena with a time of 16.35 and just glared at Kate as I walked back to the trailer to get Twister. I could hear Edward following behind me laughing.
By the end of the day I took first place in barrels and in team roping we took third, not a bad way to start the season off. We loaded the horses and started to head home. I turned the radio on, and we listened to a couple songs before Taylor Swift came on. I laughed and started to sing along with the song. We joked and sang songs on the way home. I was enjoying the time with Edward knowing that the drive to Cheyenne tomorrow was going to be long and lonely. But what your really going to miss is the time with Edward.
When we got back I dropped Edward and his horse off, deciding to leave Twister at the farm in La Push. I already had it arranged with the neighbor girl Claire to take care of them while I was gone for the week. I unloaded the horses and fed them before heading inside to bed. I awoke at four the next morning to finish packing my bags and heading out the door.
Finally after a twenty hour drive I was pulling into the ranch in Casper. Embry and Seth met me in front of the house that we would be staying in until we make the two and a half hour drive on Saturday. When Seth pulled me into a hug and gave me a kiss, all I could see and feel was Edward. This can't be healthy!
"Bella, I'm so happy you made it here safely." Seth said with Embry agreeing with him.
"Yep, here I am. I'm really tired, do you guys mind if I head to bed?" I asked. They both said to go ahead and that Seth would bring my bag into the room for me. Once I laid down on the bed, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. Wednesday and Thursday I helped out Emily as much as possible trying to figure out how I'm going to tell Seth about the kiss between Edward and I. Friday I was out in the barn helping Sam move hay when Seth and Embry came in.
"Hey Sam, mind if I steal Bella for a couple minutes?" Seth asked.
"No, go ahead, we are about done moving hay anyway." Sam answered. Seth grabbed my hand as I was taking my gloves off and handing them to Embry to use. Seth started to pull me towards the pasture and remained silent. This can't be good. Once we were far enough away from people to hear us, Seth turned to look at me. Looking in his eyes, I could see sadness and that he almost seemed hopeless.
"Bella, please tell me what is going on." He asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.
"You have been pretty much avoiding me since you got here. Please tell me why."
"Seth... I... we... fuck! I don't know what to do!" I almost screamed because I was so frustrated.
"Do about what Bella?"
"Last week something happened, and I'm not sure what to think."
"What happened?"
"Well... I.. um... Edward and I kissed?" I was a little nervous about how he would take that.
It seemed to take him a while before he answered. "Bella... what are you feeling? How do you feel about Edward... about me?"
Now it was my turn to think. How did I feel? "You want the truth Seth?" He nodded at me so I continued. "I'm not really sure how I feel. When it comes down to it, I love you both." I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks before I could even try to stop them. Seth looked at me then to the ground.
"Bella, I love you, I want to marry you. When I asked you to marry me, I had a feeling that you still loved Edward. I want you to take the time that you need, to figure out what you want. Whether it's me or Edward, I just want you happy."
I just stood there shocked, did he really just say that? I nodded at him and we headed back to the house. I went and laid down in the bed to think. Seth knew I still loved Edward, but he still went ahead and asked me to marry him. When he asked me to marry him, I knew that I still loved Edward, so why did I agree to marry him? Did I think that if I was to marry Seth, all my feelings would just go away when it came to Edward? Some time while thinking I fell asleep.
Friday we all just hung around before heading to Cheyenne to do some shopping before the rodeo. Saturday before Seth rode I knew I needed to talk to him. We hadn't talked alone for a while. Walking up to him behind the chutes, I whispered in his year if we could talk. He nodded and pulled us away from everyone.
"What's up Bella?" He asked. I got on my tippy-toes and gave him a kiss. It started out sweet and innocent, but I soon found myself wanting more. I licked his bottom lip, he soon opened his mouth and our tongues started moving together. I couldn't help the moan that came out of my mouth. In this moment, I could only think of Seth, the way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way he touches me. It was all to much. I tugged a little bit on his hair, making him moan into my mouth and lean into me. I felt like we could kiss forever. The only thing that pulled Seth away from me was the announcement of the starting of bull riding.
"I love you Seth. I just wanted you to know that, and never doubt that I love you."
"I love you to Bella, I just want you happy." He gave me another kiss before going behind the chutes again. I went to the stands and quickly found a place to sit. It was close to the edge so when the guys were done riding, I could easily get back to the chutes. Seth was second to last to ride, so I watched everyone else. Embry got thrown, and Quil got a score of 68. Since it rained yesterday the arena was pretty muddy and I was happy I wasn't competing in this rodeo, but I felt sorry for the people to had to get in the mud for their events. Make sure to remind the guys to change clothes and get cleaned up before they get in my truck.
"Next up we have Seth Clearwater of Forks Washington in chute number seven!" The announcer said. I couldn't help but let the scream out of my mouth to cheer him on. I saw him nod his head, as the chute door opened and the bull came flying out. Seth stuck to the bull as it was twisting and turning trying to get him off. After eight seconds, the buzzer went and Seth jumped off the bull landing in the mud.
From there, it seemed like everything happened in slow motion, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Seth wasn't standing yet, he had just landed in the slippery, slick mud,and was raising himself up on his hands and knees, keeping his eyes on the bull. He knew the bull was there, right there, charging at him from behind. He tried to scoot away, but his cowboy boots gave him no traction on the muddy ground.
He tried to lunge forward fast, but the bull was faster. The bull hit Seth with his head in the back of Seth's legs, and knocked Seth flat on the ground. Seth turned on his right side, trying to keep his eyes on this animal that weighed a ton. Then he started to curl up. If he couldn't get away, then he knew he had to make himself as small as possible.
The bull, still agitated and moving forward, never stopping, turned and dipped his head, and pushed his right horn into Seth's left side. It hit Seth hard enough and long enough, to slide him forward on the muddy ground. The bull bucked over Seth, moving towards the bull fighters. Seth quickly got to his feet and, holding his left arm stiffly at his side, he began a slow jog back to the gates. He motioned with his right arm for help, but before anyone could get to him, he collapsed and fell back into the mud. I saw Quil and Embry running out to the arena, and I was quickly behind them.
"NO!" I screamed while I climbed over the paneled fence, running and slipping in the mud until I finally got close to him. Embry heard me screaming and hurried to me and grabbing me as I collapsed with him in the mud. The EMT's quickly strapped Seth to the stretcher and rushed to the ambulance. Quil came jogging over to us, and picked me up carrying me to the truck. I was numb, I couldn't think of anything except what I just saw. I felt one of the guys digging in my jeans for my keys before putting me in the back seat.
This can not be happening. Seth will be ok. It's not that bad, he'll just be sore for the next few days. I closed my eyes and saw the look for horror and pain on Seth's face before letting out a sob. We quickly arrived at Memorial Hospital and rushed into the emergency room. We didn't have to wait long before the doctor came out. Just the look on his face told me everything I didn't want to know or hear.
"The bull's horn didn't break through Seth's skin, however the horn had broken his ribs. The broken ribs severed a main artery. I'm so sorry, we tried everything we could, but we just couldn't bring Seth back." I heard everyone around me gasp and start crying. Me, I was so numb, I didn't feel anything. It was like I was no longer in my body. I grabbed my keys from Quil and ran out to my truck. As soon as I got in, I started it and threw it in reverse. I left the parking lot as fast as possible.
It was two weeks after the day she turned 18
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
she had his box of letters in the passangers seat
six pence in her shoe
something borrowed,something blue
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hands
Baby, why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever
Now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm, looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song
That she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, And what could've been
And then guns rang one last shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart
Rosalie
The party tonight was really good. They had a live band, and of course the beer. Damn, I love college. Alice and I had just entered our dorm room when my phone started ringing. I looked at the time and saw it was past 11:30 then looked at the caller ID to see Bella's name flashing at me. I quickly answered, wondering why she was calling me this late.
"Hello?"
Baby, why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever
Now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm, looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
"Bella, whose gone?"
"Seth. The bull killed him." She was sobbing so hard.
"Bella, calm down, where are you?"
Baby, why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever
Now I'll never know
Ooh, I'll never know
It's like I'm, looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
"I don't know, I'm driving. FUCK!" I heard her scream.
Oh, This is just a dream
Just a dream
yeahhh...
I heard the sound of brakes and skidding, followed by the sound of metal being crunched and glass breaking. "Bella!" I screamed. I didn't hear anything. "Bella!" I screamed again. Still silence.
"Miss Swan, this is Betty with All-star, we got a signal you were just in a roll-over. Are you alright?" O fuck, Bella, please answer. "Miss Swan can you hear me? We have notified local law enforcement that you were in a wreck ten miles north of Cheyenne. I will stay with you until law enforcement get there."
"Bella!" I screamed out again, only to notice that the line went dead. "FUCK!" I yelled out loud. I quickly found Charlie's number while telling Alice what I just heard.
"Swan residence." I heard Charlie answer.
"Charlie! It's Bella, she's been in a wreck outside of Cheyenne. Seth was killed riding tonight." I started sobbing out.
"Rose calm down. I'm heading out of the door right now!" I hung up my phone and started crying. Alice grabbed me in a hug crying before she got on the phone to make arrangements for us to fly out to Cheyenne. The she quickly called Jasper and told him and Emmett to get over to our dorm so we could leave while filling them in. Everyone was informed, except for Edward. I started dialing his number, only to have to restart three times because of my shaking fingers. I finally got the number in and hit send.
"What do you want Rose? It's midnight! Go to bed." I could tell that I woke him up and he was pissed. A sob escaped my mouth before I could stop it.
"Edward, there's been an accident."
"What's wrong Rose."
"Bella was upset and Oh God!" I screamed out. "Seth was riding tonight and the bull killed him. Bella was upset and was driving. Edward, she rolled her truck."
"Where is she Rose?" He almost growled out. I knew he loved Bella, he just wouldn't admit it.
"She's outside of Casper. We are flying out. Please come!" I didn't hear anything. "Edward?" I looked at my phone to see that he had already hung up. Everyone had arrived and we left the room jumping into Jasper's truck. I tried calling Bella's phone and it went straight to her voice mail.
"Hey this is Bella. I'm either on a horse, in the arena, or just can't make it to my phone. Leave a message and I'll get back to ya!"
Please God, let Bella be alright and make it through this!
This chapter is dedicated to Lane Frost. He was a great buller rider, and is greatly missed.
Lane Frost was a World Champion Bull Rider killed in Cheyenne, Wyoming in 1989 while
competing in the popular "Cheyenne Frontier Days" Rodeo.
After a successful 8-second ride, Lane dismounted from the bull. The bull quickly pivoted,
came up behind Lane and hit him twice, before Lane even had a chance to completely stand
up from his dismount. The second time the bull hit him with his horn, breaking Lane’s ribs,
which severed a main artery. Lane died within moments.
To learn more about Lane Frost please visit the Tribute Site. For more information on the Justin Boot Cowboy Crisis Fund please click here.
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